I just found this short piece from a while ago. I think I wrote this while I was at home over the summer.


Things my mom does like:

-When I call her "just to say hi"
-Me keeping my room clean
-Watching "What Not To Wear" and shows on HGTV with her on the couch
-Being a chauffeur for my younger brother

Things mom does NOT like:

-Turning her room into "the jungle room," complete with the dogs dressed as British imperialists
-Putting the song "I'm So Excited" on loop, turning on the phone-intercom in my room, and locking the door.
-Changing the background on her laptop from "Tropical Sunset" to "Hardcore Ass-Fucking"
-Adding items like "Uncle Ben's Nipple Bowls," "Fetus-Away Toilet Bowl Cleaner," and "Fairly Attractive Exotic Dancers" to the grocery store shopping list.