Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
CH Video Games Weekly
April 19, 2007
My guest this week is Nicholas Gurewitch, creator of
The Perry Bible Fellowship
. Many of his comics draw their inspiration from video games, including
(which was drawn pixel by pixel).
: If they made a live action
movie, who should play who?
: I think Kel (or Keenan, whichever the one on
is) would make a great Wood Man. A movie as epic as Mega Man needs comic relief. He could always complain about being scared, or how bad his weapon is. "Leaf shield! All I get is leaves and I don't even get a leaf
The fans will scoff at a black Wood Man, but once the movie comes out they will understand my vision.
: If that line was in the trailer, I'd probably avoid the film. That being said, Keenan (or Kel) is an interesting choice.A tree-themed boss like Wood Man would need to be old and dry though. Don't forget Wood Man's weakness: flame. Just imagine sweat dripping down Sir Anthony Hopkins' wrinkled brow. It also occurs to me that it'd becool to invoke Hollywood's habit of giving British accents to the villains.
: Speaking of villainous brits, I can't see anyone for Dr. Wily besides Ian McKellen. Who should direct such an important movie? I'd love to see Tim Burton create Mega Man's world out of jagged edges, curls, and Johnny Depp.
: I think Tarentino has a knack for presenting characters with quirks and special powers. The Brady-Bunch-style selection screen could even be retained for super fun character introductions. Orchestral adaptations of the game's music would push a Mega Man flickover into the "sublime" category.
: Usually I love Tarentino's soundtrack selections, but Mega Man's soundtrack is already good to go. Just mix the Mega Man II theme into surround sound and you've got an Oscar for sure.
: Hey, remember pinball?
: Totally. It's a shame
isn't still popular. Kids today need a loud distraction with flashing lights more than ever. My favorites were the ones based on movies, like
The Addams Family
The Lost World
. Those two examples really date the pastime.
: That may have been
's downfall.Theywere dominated by movie themes.I remember walking into my local movie theater, and getting nauseous at how proudly "The Next Generation" table made noises by the entrance. "Space the final frontier," Picard would say, beckoning you to play. The show had been off the air for a while, and you just hadto walk away from it to avoid being sad.
: Picard's worse than that, "give me a quarter, I love quarter" fortune teller. You can tell
isn't popular anymore because nobody even snatches up the obvious licenses. There's no Adult Swim
, no Snakes on a
Table, nothing. During the 90's, even Congo was adapted into
: Another problem with
where are the characters? Where is your enemy? Where are your heroes? It's all just a bunch of hazard holes. How is anything ametaphor for being eaten by a gorilla or dinosaur when the only mistake you can make is letting the ball fall between your paddles? It makes crap sense to have movie themes if you think about it.
: At this point only one company, The
Factory, is even designing new machines. Their most recent effort was going to be a Crocodile Hunter table, though the project has been aborted for obvious reasons. Is
going to go the way of the baseball cards, tamagotchis, and reading? Is that even sad?
:I consider myself a fan of
, but no, that's not sad. For the same reasons we don't need new tic-tac-toe designs or dreadles each year, we don't need
to be constantly updated. Maybe every once in a while if a movie really demands it.
: Why is there no
: A modern shoot-em-up wouldn't exactly be in the vein of the movie. Perhaps they should have done a
was a throwback to a certain era, so
seems a lot more appropriate than a Wii-based ball severing simulation. Still, I think a video game could have been a great fit. The grindhouse cinema that Tarentino and Rodriguez were paying tribute to is closer to modern games than modern movies. Movie games are traditionally terrible, but
Werewolf Women of the SS
scream "can't miss."
: You know my dad used to have the original "
" arcade machine in our living room? I think my Mom made him get rid of it.
: My father used to have a Space Invaders
machine, which my mom also made us get rid of. If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's build your
machine into the house. That way, it's more difficult to get rid of.
: Or: don't bring a huge, noisy, frivilous machine into your household.
: Mom's not a machine is she?
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.