To any sports fan, there are certain names- Michael Jordan, Lou Gehrig, Bobby Orr, John Elway, Pele- that conjure up iconic images of excellence and determination, and inspire respect and admiration for superior athletes. And then, there's these guys.
#10 Dudu, Kaka, and Dunga
On their own, these two players and the coach of the Brazilian National soccer team seem like a 3rd grader's euphemisms for poop. But together, they somehow combine into one massive, sexy, scatological mega-joke.
# 9 Ron Tugnutt
Slapping the monkey, choking the chicken, jerkin' the gherkin, beating off, polishing the family jewels, shining the pork sword and now: Tugging a nut.
# 8 Chubby Cox
Why not just name your child "Chodes?" Despite having not just a funny name, but an insulting one, Cox is seriously well connected. In addition to going to High School two blocks from my own house, his brother-on-law, Joe "Jellybean" Bryant, played in the NBA, and so does Joe's son. Some guy named Kobe.
# 7 Dick Trickle
Erectile Dysfunction/Incontinence + NASCAR Rednecks = Comedy.
Poop names are easy (Danny Shittu), but a good fart name, like a fine '88 Merlot, must be savored. Combine a humorous name with a violent soccer thug, and you've got a winning formula.
# 5 Otto Pfister
German soccer manager, or insane sexual contraption? You be the judge. (It's the soccer manager, though)
# 4 Randy Johnson
Normal enough to pass under the radar, Randy Johnson is the alternate moniker of several adult film stars, as is the bird-murdering pitcher's nickname: "The Big Unit."
# 3 Misty Hyman
I can't decide whether her name is an STD symptom, or a porno alias, but an Olympic gold medal sure seems like a good comeback to everyone who made her cut herself in Junior High.
# 2 Dick Butkus
With all do respect to the Windy City Legend, he'd be on here even if his name wasn't Dick. Butt-kiss does fine all on it's own. But the addition of "Dick" to an already hilarious name pushes "The most feared man in the game" into the top.
# 1 Rusty Kuntz
Is there really any debate?