While reflecting on my time at home over this summer break, I am troubled by the materialistic nature of my sisters. Coach™ bags, Ugg™ boots, designer sunglasses, manicures, etc. Even now I look at my younger sister Kelly’s (16) away message- “*sHoPPing wITh thE GiRlz lOOkinG FaB oF coUrsE*”. I know, it’s hard to read (hurts the eyes) and makes you wonder why the hell my parents are paying for private education. You ask, “Mike, what makes your sisters and other girls of our generation so materialistic? Why are they infatuated with having the latest and the greatest?” Is it the stacks of celebrity-stalking magazines they have next to their bed? Or is it the gyrating bulimics in the music videos they sing and dance along with? Is it the fabricated reality of such shows as The Hills and smash-hit 24/7? No. The reason for their worldly ways is none of these. It is something even more sinister that lies deep in their subconscious, ordering the brain to BUY! BUY! BUY! Two simple words have corrupted an entire generation. Those words? Blank. Check.
That’s right, Blank Check, a Disney-funded propaganda film aimed at destroying a generation by coercing them to spend all of their savings. On the outside, an innocent fable of a middle-class boy coming upon money and living a life his parents’ bank account couldn’t support. But what does it really teach young people? Spend that money! As fast as you can! Hey kids! Buy a mansion- without analyzing the current housing market and interest rates. Add a waterslide to your new mansion- without researching water damage effects and the resale value. Hire an overweight, quick-witted limo driver named Henry to be your friend- he’s not in it just for the money! Build a go-kart track, buy a 20 foot screen for your video games, and date a hot banker who is twenty years older than you! I could blather about this all day! Notice, Disney never told young Preston Waters to invest in blue-chip stocks, meet with a wealth management specialist, or even donate a percentage to charity to get valuable tax write-offs!
So what happens to young Preston? What always happens to all youngsters who pretend to work for an older wealthy man who didn’t have a childhood? They get burned when they hire an expensive party planner to throw a lavish gala for that fictional older man. And that is what is going to happen to this generation- we’re going to spend, spend, spend until our savings and inheritances are depleted, leaving us where we started- at some theme park without enough money for the good ride. And who is on the good ride? Some smart kid with a cute date who read this article and decided to practice some fiscal responsibility.