Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
I think I know where your lost puppy went.
Textbook suicide, bird's nest gone wrong, or is there something more sinister going on here?
"The squirrel stayed in that position for 9 months!"
A classic "not my problem."
"Fried squirrel, hanging by his teeth."
Is this implying that Randy already killed my pet, or because he kills so many pets he can somehow unkill them?
No Easter next year.
Finally, all the eggs are mine.
Stole the deer feet from a party, and the toque so now he can't go get more of them.
It's less surprising when you notice the car is being driven by a dog.
Nooooooo! Take me instead God, take me instead!
"We were camping in West Virginia during Spring Break, and we met this mountain man who lived in the woods. He let us take a picture of him, and the skunk he killed by throwing his tomahawk at it."
I believe we meet our pets again in heaven, but until we get there they can read our t-shirts. Is that so crazy?
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We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.