CollegeHumor: Drunk Articles http://www.collegehumor.com/tag/drunk Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/6883540 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6883540/the-pet-care-manual-for-your-drunk-friend The Pet Care Manual for Your Drunk Friend Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:08:20 -0400
The Pet Care Manual for Your Drunk Friend - Image 2

The Pet Care Manual for Your Drunk Friend - Image 2...]]> /article/6865464 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6865464/cereal-mascots-for-booze If Alcohol Had Mascots Like Cereal Wed, 23 Jan 2013 12:42:33 -0500
If Alcohol Had Mascots Like Cereal - Image 1

If Alcohol Had Mascots Like Cereal - Image 1...]]> /article/6858052 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6858052/10-ways-to-apologize-for-your-actions-at-a-party 10 Ways to Apologize for Your Actions at a Party Wed, 19 Dec 2012 17:45:52 -0500 1. Write an email. Let someone know that you're sorry without having to make eye contact, or an attempt at pretending to actually be sorry.

2. Make a phone call. After experiencing the living hell that is answering a ringing phone, whatever you did last night won't seem nearly as bad.

3. Replace whatever you destroyed. If you barfed on someone's cocktail dress, get them a new one. If you ruined someone's relationship, buy them two.

4. Buy a gift. If it's a good enough present, it should get someone to forget about your festive failings, and not stand as a memorial to it.

5. Disappear for a while. You'll get to avoid whoever it is that you want to avoid, and they'll get the gift of not having to see your face.

6. Make a self-deprecating post on social media. Yeah, now everyone knows you're a moron, but at least you didn't have to explicitly admit to anything or subject your hangover to the powerful aromas of a flower shop.

7. Promise to stop partying. Nobody's perfect, so if you're willing to change for the better, someone would have to be Jesus T.H.C. Christ to hold your party past against you.

8. Party even harder. Having fun is kind of your thing, so if you go at it with even more intensity, sooner or later, it's bound to be fun for someone else too.

9. Deny everything. Chances are you weren't the only one imbibing at a place serving alcohol, and if you can't fully remember last night, perhaps someone's recollection isn't all that dependable either. Maybe they got so wasted that they started making things up. Maybe they really crossed the line by coming into work so drunk and incoherent. Maybe they should be apologizing to you.

10. Say sorry in person. It's the most embarrassing option, but that's never kept you from doing something.

...]]> /article/6854000 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6854000/20-reasons-were-thankful-for-alchohol 20 Reasons We're Thankful For Alcohol Wed, 05 Dec 2012 11:55:55 -0500 Today marks the 79th Anniversary of the End Of Prohibition, so to celebrate, we've compiled the following list of 20 Reasons We're Thankful For Alcohol! Get ready to get your drink on!!!


20 Reasons Were Thankful For Alchohol - Image 5...]]> /article/6843526 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6843526/blow-chunks Blow Chunks Thu, 01 Nov 2012 01:50:13 -0400
Blow Chunks - Image 1
]]> /article/5665111 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/5665111/how-to-get-the-hottie-at-the-party How to Get the Hottie at the Party Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:37:47 -0400 Follow these tips ladies and you'll definitely get your man, at least until the hangover wears off.


Laugh at all his jokes

Ha ha great Dane Cook impression!
...]]> /article/3168340 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3168340/gourmet-drunk-food Gourmet Drunk Food Thu, 03 Jan 2008 13:42:39 -0500
Two students, Benetar and Joniston, stumble out of a party drunk as fudge and begin half walking/half falling home.




- Guess what time it is.
...]]> /article/2891195 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/2891195/a-five-step-guide-to-blacking-out A Five-Step Guide to Blacking Out Sat, 08 Sep 2007 20:14:00 -0400 1) Drink. A LOT. Pregame with 8 or 9 shots of vodka/gin/rum/151 before you head out for the night. Once you arrive, be sure to sign up for a game of pong. If you suck at pong, sign up several times, using aliases. Be sure to fill your cups up all the way – you don't want people thinking you're a wuss. After the pong, head over to the flip cup table and play that for about a half-h
...]]> /article/1116121 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1116121/sober-me-has-a-sit-down-talk-with-drunk-me Sober Me has a Sit Down Talk with Drunk Me Thu, 31 May 2007 21:39:15 -0400 (Drunk me stumbles into an upstairs bedroom where sober me is waiting)

DM: Hey, you’re not Kasey.

SM: It’s Katie actually, but yea, I asked her to tell you to meet her upstairs because I couldn’t get you up here otherwise. Listen, we need to talk.

DM: Talk, man? There is a freakin sweet party downstairs. Don’t say anything but I think I am supposed to be meeting up with that Kelly chick later, she totally wants to (DM performs a couple hip thrusts) You KNOW!!! (DM goes for the high five but is left hanging; he looks incredibly hurt)

...]]> /article/786792 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/786792/a-public-apology-to-david-wain A Public Apology to David Wain Tue, 20 Mar 2007 12:15:40 -0400 It’s been a little over four years since that fateful night, and I’ve never had the courage to come forward with my story. I’ve been shocked, upset, and utterly embarrassed. But now, I feel it’s time to use this forum to officially issue a public apology to David Wain.



What follows is my story – one of excitement, one of intrigue, and inevitably, one that he probably doesn’t even remember. But I wouldn’t feel right unless I finally set the story straight.
...]]> /article/770558 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/770558/everybodys-drunk Everybody's Drunk! Fri, 16 Mar 2007 14:13:08 -0400 St. Patrick's Day is upon us, and we are all doing our best to honor this magical drunken saint. But it's not just humans who get caught up in the St. Patty's spirit. Today, everybody's drunk!



...]]> /article/708780 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/708780/effects-of-alcohol-on-speech Effects of Alcohol on Speech Fri, 02 Mar 2007 23:52:02 -0500 Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

  • Indubitably
  • Innovative
  • Preliminary
  • Proliferation
  • Cinnamon


Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

  • Specificity
  • British Constitution
  • Passive-Aggressive Disorder
  • Loquacious Transubstantiate

...]]> /article/669193 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/669193/how-to-unsuccessfully-sneak-beer-into-the-dorms How To: Unsuccessfully Sneak Beer Into The Dorms Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:08:24 -0500 We have all snuck illegal beverages into our dorm rooms before, but only the elite few can actually get caught in the act. Here is how it happens.

Step 1: Get Drunk

The easiest way to screw up even the most menial of tasks is to be wasted. Make sure you buy enough booze so that you can be drunk, and have enough left over to sneak in. Two thirty packs of keystone will do. Actually, better make it three.
...]]> /article/637781 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/637781/strangely-similar Strangely Similar Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:38:01 -0500





I was watching the Price is Right and realized, there are a lot of similarities to being drunk and being on the price is right:
...]]> /article/632032 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/632032/what-you-are-basically-telling-your-body What You Are Basically Telling Your Body Fri, 16 Feb 2007 12:38:09 -0500 Every party you attend in college is like a one sided conversation with yourself. This is what you are basically telling your body every step of the way.



First Shot: Hey baby here's a little poison gift. Come on, I'm just joking. Loosen up, man. It's Saturday! Aw, don't even worry, because after last night, I'm gonna take it easy. You probably wont even feel anything.
...]]>