The chains double as tears for not being able to grow your own.
Stoners of the world, rejoint!
"The real superheroes are nerds." - your 5th grade math teacher
He tracks the Dominos Pizza tracker.
"You have one hour to find my body. Tick tock."
How low can the value of these bad boys go?
Porkins immediately burst into flames when he saw this.
The Dude shouldn't have given the last supper on Shomer Shabbos. Donny doesn't approve.
You just missed the best concert ever.
The match had its ups, downs and triple spiral loopty loops.
Feel his biscuits now. They're rock hard.
Bacon was supposed to be the olive branch of our generation.
Each time you pump the dispenser it opens another porn tab.
Give the guy a break, his doctorate is in biology.
It's faster than an escalator, but has significantly more homeless people.
"They have the sexiest rack of checkbooks in town."
The name Burning Man should really be reserved for red-headed events.
He was originally going to go with "It blew me away."
He'll definitely make a biting remark when he cuts you off.
Argyle regret that in the morning.
Man can get no more technologically advanced than this.
Next step: teach him how to wipe.
She's loaded. The gun's not.
How else would Leprechauns stay so cheery?