mitt romney

Willard “Mitt” Romney--that’s right, Willard--is a former Governor of Massachusetts, current guy with great hair, and the presumptive GOP nominee for President this election season. The son of former Governor of Michigan, George W. Romney, Mitt was born in Detroit and had the good sense to get out before that city turned into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. He is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which is an extremely wordy way of saying he is Mormon. Romney’s Mormonism is a cause of concern among comedy writers and comedy fans alike. Just think how many Mormon jokes we would all have to listen to if he were elected. Terrifying. Romney was the co-founder of private equity investment firm Bain Capital (YAWN) and is also apparently a political Etch-a-Sketch, which must make him a straight shooter, since curved lines are so goddamn hard to draw on those things.[[[readmore]]] *Haircut:* The Clark Kent *Greying Temples:* Oh, you fucking KNOW it. *Massachusetts?:* Already home to the best looking president - John F. Kennedy - Massachusetts would have a very high batting average if Romney wins. If only that little troll John Adams weren’t dragging the average down...

Mitt Romney's Bank Account Speaks Out
Romney and Obama Do "Call Me Maybe"
James Lipton Gives Mitt Romney Acting Advice
Mitt Romney's Hilarious Prank Ideas
10 Romney Running Mate Suggestions
Charles Barkley to Mitt Romney: "You're going down, bro."
Obama the Insult Comic President
News Feed History of the World: April 2012
If Presidential Candidates Acted Like Tweens on Twitter
Mitt Romney Talks About Horses
Donald Trump's Cake for Ann Romney
The GOP Candidates Play Monopoly
Surfs Up, Mitt
Obama Campaign HQ Pwns Romney
America's Game of Thrones

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