Moses: But not the slavery, huh?

God: Eh.

Moses: Okay. Well, at least it’s worth it, right? Why, a land flowing with milk and honey-

God: Yeah, um, its just sand.

Mos...]]> /article/6011890 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6011890/the-adventures-of-god Thu, 01 Apr 2010 17:51:31 -0400 I

God: Noah, all the people of earth are sinners. You alone are righteous.

Noah: Thanks God. Long time fan, first time prophet.

God: So, I have decided to smite the entire world with a flood.

(pause)

Noah: Couldn’t you just teach man goodness?

God: No. I’m thinking “flood.”

Noah: So you’d rather just kill every-

God: What part of “flood” do you not understand?

II

God: Moses…I have seen the plight of the Jews in Egypt.

Moses: Wow. Only after, uh, 400 years there, right?

God: Yes.

Moses: Awesome.

God: I will take you out of Egypt after ten terrible, terrible plagues.

Moses: …ten?

God: Is there a problem?

Moses: It’s just…ten is a lot. For, you know, God. Couldn’t you get this done in like, two plagues max?

God: No. For you see, Moses, I will harden Pharaoh’s heart against me.

Moses: So…you are going to stop him from letting us free from slavery.

God: Yes.

Moses: So you can bring more terrible, terrible plagues upon the people.

God: Yes.
...]]> /picture/3173336 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/3173336 Sun, 06 Jan 2008 13:21:45 -0500 /video/1450212 http://www.collegehumor.com/video/1450212/moses-and-teletubby-arrested Fri, 13 Jul 2007 11:34:30 -0400 /picture/155905 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/155905 Mon, 30 Oct 2006 14:41:20 -0500 /picture/45828 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/45828 Wed, 16 Mar 2005 00:00:00 -0500