Return to dystopic sender.
President Obama, You could really use a new theme song. That business you're walking out to now, "Hail to the Chief," is just so dated, so lateteen hundreds. Know what I'm saying? You need somet …
There's a reason we shove children at their own table each Thanksgiving. They're messy, noisy and, more often than not, can ruin the entire evening without even realizing it. But why stop at just bani …
New World Order, innit?
Election season is coming. Next year.
The lesser of two evils?
All rise for the United Steves of America.
Russia is strong and sturdy just like this pen.
Government shutdown got you down? Wish you could just punch Congress in its big stupid collective face? Well now you can. Meet your congressman in the ring and blow off some shutdown steam. PLAY …
Let's get those hardworking Americans back to twerk.
Also see: 6 Best "Wrecking Ball" Parodies
But the real question is, where do we go from here?