"Pool" Video

He'll be a lot happier when he gives up and accepts that he's going to live the rest of his life in the empty pool.

He was 90% sure the pool was a communist agent sent by the Russians to overthrow the American government.

No matter what he says, he is programmed to know how to rack, too.

From GerbilGod7

It's for his back. He pulled something eviscerating some hikers earlier, and the doctor said it would help.

From Liqqid

He said he'd rather die than not set a new record and, luckily, those were the only two possible outcomes.

His PhD is in Not Dying.

With friends like that, who needs diving boards?

Expect the sort of unexpected.

I might be worried if she didn't have a certificate proving she's mastered the egg float.

I like to think this is just God playing golf, with giant, deadly hail stones.

They're going to need a bigger skimmer.

This is cheating. This is disrespectful to the game.

"Now a trampoline looks pretty safe, doesn't it, Mom."

Admission was half-price.

You can't blow up all your problems, just the ones that exist in the physical world.

Destroying your testicles is a surefire way to impress a girl.

God's just angry because he didn't get invited to their barbecue.

Good thing he's not in the water.

He also ran over an in-ground pool. That was less successful.

"It's cool, it's cool. I actually didn't even want to land in the pool, sucka."