They'd ask their grandchildren how to wear iPhones as hats, but they died ten years ago.
He's never been turned down by a woman, but only because no one has ever even responded.
A match made in definitely not Heaven.
"Honey, where are those wheels I got you for Christmas? They worked so well on you."
They have an "open that door--you better not be doing what I think you are in there" relationship.
Besides explaining what toothpaste is to your robot grandchildren.
"I'm not crying, there's just something in my soul."
The tandem bike just looked too cool.
They spent all their honeymoon money on an arcade instead.
Because "turn those frowns upside down" wasn't working for the Christmas photo.
Please accept this complimentary letter as a token of our appreciation.
She must have seen "Immaculate Cumception."
Their first mistake was trusting a guy named Whoopi.
Now it's a wetting.
But no one could replace your energy in bed, Encyclopedias. You'll be sorely missed.
On behalf of perverts everywhere, thank you markevens.
It's comforting to know you heart us as much as we heart you, pizza.
You had your chance, llama. You held your peace.
Husband comes home early. Hold on for dear life.
Well he definitely swallowed his pride by posting.
Serves him right for working late nights and long weekends to support a family. Prick.
Mainly because he lost the use of those muscles in his face.
"Don't worry, it will only show up as 'Extramarital Affair' on your credit card statement."
"So that's why we call her Grandma Floozy Suzy."