CollegeHumor: Satan Blog Articles http://www.collegehumor.com/tag/satan-blog Funny Videos, Funny Pictures, Funny Links! /article/3217762 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/3217762/satan-blog-the-dark-correspondence-vii Satan Blog: The Dark Correspondence VII Tue, 29 Jan 2008 12:21:32 -0500 Hey guysss, long time no blog. I am pre-ttay pre-ttay psyched about my new MacBook Air.
Did you know it's so thin that it can fit in a manila envelope, and also if you apply enough consistent pressure over a few weeks, eventually slice someone's spine open? I've been using it a lot for e-mail and Photo Booth and also for the spine thing. Can you believe I've already collected 40 souls in exchange for a MacBook Air? Some people are so into Apple it scares me.
...]]> /article/1114399 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1114399/satan-blog-v Satan Blog V Thu, 31 May 2007 12:30:44 -0400


As many of you know from previous blogs, I’ve been looking for a new nickname. Beelzebub is too cute; Prince of Darkness is such a downer. Well, today I was experimenting with anagrams, and I discovered that if you rearrange the letters in “Mephistopheles,” you get “Peepholes Smith.” This is incredible. I am officially declaring all across the Kingdom of Hell that if you would like to address your dark lord in a more informal manner, you may call me Peepholes Smith.
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Current Mood: Exuberant

Listening To: John Philip Sousa’s Greatest Hits



Today is the first day that I’m really excited to have a blog, because I get to share this moment with all of you: WELCOME, JERRY FALWELL! You have to understand – when a hypocritical, hate-mongering religious zealot dies, it’s the closest thing I have to Christmas down here.
...]]> /article/1004827 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/1004827/satan-blog-iii Satan Blog III Thu, 03 May 2007 13:34:03 -0400
You know what I haven’t done in a while? Speak through a serpent. I just feel like it wouldn’t have any effect these days. So a serpent talks to some guy, maybe they make the 10 o’clock news, maybe not, maybe they get institutionalized, maybe not, but the point is, nobody really gives a sh*t. Nowadays, I don’t have a good vessel through which I can cause any harm, just the usual backwards Pink Floyd records and forwards Nickelback records.
...]]> /article/923639 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/923639/satan-blog-ii Satan Blog II Wed, 18 Apr 2007 17:21:23 -0400
Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to meet The One. I mean, I could have anyone I want down here, but it's not the same. Yesterday a beautiful woman came up to me and said "Did it hurt… when you fell from heaven?" Then she walked away laughing with her friends. She made me feel so small. I condemned her to sh*t live lobsters for eternity, but it didn't help. I just want to meet someone who lets me be me – someone I can feel comfortable impaling babies around. Ugh, I can be such a girl sometimes.
...]]> /article/860026 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/860026/satan-blog Satan Blog Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:47:47 -0400

Ugh. Earlier today I was making this lawyer eat a live bald eagle with his bare hands, and I totally zoned out because I couldn't remember if I fed my cat. You ever do that, where like, you know you did it, but you don't know, and you can't relax until you check? I mostly do it with Boots because I don't have too much else to remember. Like, I always leave the oven on, and who cares?
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