CollegeHumor: Security

Regret Everything: Your Facebook, No One Cares

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:54:54 -0500

While we will never be able to fully stop internet piracy, there is one fact that should reassure those who are scared of internet theft: most people do not give a crap about you.

...

Jimmy Kimmel Staff All High Five Security Guard Adelina

Thu, 24 May 2012 10:25:06 -0400

It's all fun and games until someone gets high-fived.

Dog Guards Owner's Bike

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:15:39 -0400

It's a dog be awesome world out there.

Mortal Kombat Security Guard

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 13:51:28 -0500

Stop or he'll call someone with real authority.

Untitled 4

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 13:06:26 -0500

We'd really have something to worry about if that breast implants statistic wasn't an even number.

Untitled 5

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 22:42:18 -0500

Please don't attempt to break in. This store still suffers post-traumatic stress disorder from last break-in.

Untitled 6

Wed, 24 Nov 2010 12:47:25 -0500

His motto: Private screenings for cleaning privates.

Untitled 7

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 14:22:03 -0500

"Sir, we're going to have to ask you one last time. Please remove the box."

Untitled 8

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:25:36 -0400

A small price to pay for being king for a day.

Untitled 9

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 11:55:33 -0400

Computer goes through self acceptance

Playing Tag With Mall Security

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 11:54:19 -0400

This marks the first time in history anyone disrespected mall security.

Fan Interrupts Wrestler

Thu, 01 Apr 2010 12:52:59 -0400

Impossible. Wrestling fans are way too mature to act like this.

Anti-Terrorism Honor System

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 12:18:46 -0500

Because homicidal maniacs wouldn't lie. Would they?

Life Alert Parody

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 11:08:11 -0400

Is it possible to get protection against your home security?

Guards that Beat Fan are then Beaten by More Fans

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:37:41 -0400

It's all right, go on and beat the man in front of hundreds of witnesses. Everyone knows how fair and even-tempered soccer fans are.

Other Home Security Tats

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 10:51:34 -0400

Everybody knows: Summertime is tattoo time, and when it comes to ink, nothing is sicker than a barbed wire tat.

A barbed wire tat says, "Hi. I'm a sensitive guy, but I like working out, too. You know what I love doing the most? Bicep curls. Furthermore, my biceps are so jacked (from all the curling) that I have to protect them as a farmer would his livestock."
...

Untitled 16

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 21:29:14 -0500

Don't worry dude, the catapult is in a balloon up my ass. They'll never find it.

Untitled 17

Fri, 12 May 2006 15:59:49 -0400

You'll poke an eye out with that thing, if you're lucky.

Untitled 18

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 10:42:20 -0500

Wal-Mart sells PowerWheels that are nicer than the cars they give their security.

Untitled 19

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 00:00:00 -0400

"High Tech Security Systems in Scotland"