Snow is a pure, magical substance that you can throw, pee on, and shape into penises, igloos, and penis igloos. That's what the song "Winter Wonderland" is actually about.

    That's actually not Jabba. It's Sally Struthers.
    Too fast, Too frozen
    You shovelers need a kick in the ass
    New Ski Warnings
    How d'ya like dem apples?
    "500 channels and all I can get is snow."
    So many inches... of snow.
    It may not look big, but that's 6 football fields long.
    Cecil Fielder is frozen in the middle of that.
    That's one place you don't want frostbite.
    The bumper sticker says it all, "I

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