The Internet, Your Not-So-Secret Admirer picture The Internet, Your Not-So-Secret Admirer

At least, barring a vicious magnetic storm, they'll never leave you.

| 3 comments | 4 days ago
Logo Math picture Logo Math

"Ugh, I forgot to carry the Pizzeria Uno."

| 0 comments | January 24, 2012
Obama's Al Green Ringtone picture Obama's Al Green Ringtone

Perfect for when you're in the mood (to disrupt a meeting).

| 0 comments | January 23, 2012
Situation Kicked Out Of Apple Store picture Situation Kicked Out Of Apple Store

He kept lifting his shirt up to say "there's an ab for that."

| 1 comment | October 18, 2011
U.S. Census Tweet picture U.S. Census Tweet

What else are they going to tweet about, important stuff?

| 13 comments | August 15, 2011
Secret Service is Tired of Fox News picture Secret Service is Tired of Fox News

Wait, that's not a secret.

| 6 comments | May 23, 2011
Food Not Bibles picture Food Not Bibles

Quite frankly, it tastes like crazy.

| 15 comments | May 12, 2011
Terror Alert Now Raised to Confetti picture Terror Alert Now Raised to Confetti

It's only scary for the people who have to clean it up.

| 4 comments | May 06, 2011
Ghost of Osama bin Laden on Twitter picture Ghost of Osama bin Laden on Twitter

Note: Followers will not receive 72 virgins.

| 5 comments | May 06, 2011
The Rock Knows All picture The Rock Knows All

He obviously smelled what Obama was cookin'.

| 13 comments | May 02, 2011
Mos Def Tweets Bieber Joke picture Mos Def Tweets Bieber Joke

That's mos(t) def(initely) true.

| 4 comments | March 30, 2011
That's EXACTLY what a zombie would say. picture That's EXACTLY what a zombie would say.

| 4 comments | March 07, 2011
If she plays her cards right she could be his next Goddess. picture If she plays her cards right she could be his next Goddess.

| 9 comments | March 04, 2011
Hey, he brought penis shaped chocolates to the set. picture Hey, he brought penis shaped chocolates to the set.

| 38 comments | February 15, 2011
If you're not going to listen to your daughter at least listen to the 3rd place finisher of "Dancing with the Stars" picture If you're not going to listen to your daughter at least listen to the 3rd place finisher of "Dancing with the Stars"

| 36 comments | January 11, 2011
Twitter picture Twitter

Her whiteboard tweet from later in the night: Please zombie Mr. Rogers who's currently hitting on me, leave now.

| 10 comments | November 04, 2010
Twitter Bird picture Twitter Bird

If she gains the Freshman 15, she can go as the Fail Whale next year

| 7 comments | November 02, 2010
Twitter Bird (Part 2) picture Twitter Bird (Part 2)

I'd follow her to the end of the world.

| 7 comments | November 01, 2010
Twitter Bird picture Twitter Bird

Your pickup line has to be 140 characters or less.

| 2 comments | November 01, 2010
When Tweeting Goes Wrong. picture When Tweeting Goes Wrong.

| 20 comments | October 15, 2010