McDonalds Employee

10. McDonald's Employee

Average Salary: $15k-$48kYour official job title could be "King Sandwich Taster of the Moon esq." and you'd still be a McDonald's employee. There's no running from it, working for McDonald's sucks no matter who you are, but probably especially if you're a cow.

Stable Cleaner

9. Stable Cleaner

Average Salary: $15k-$43kWhen people say they'd give anything for a stable job in this economy, this is absolutely what they don't mean. Forget the fact you're spending all day doing manual labor and you're barely getting paid, but you're touching poop all day. Poop!

Taser Tester

8. Taser Tester

Average Salary: $25k-$49kGetting stabbed in the face with 1 million volts of electricity is an experience rivaled in its unpleasantness only by the number of "shocking" puns the scientists are going to yell at you as they repeatedly shorten your life. Through the uncontrollable muscle spasms and maybe, just maybe, an involuntary bowel movement, you'll manage to yelp a pained "it works!" before they do it again, laughing this time, probably.


7. Embalmer

Average Salary: $19k-$51kIf you can read the wikipedia page for "embalming" in its entirety and still not feel like throwing up, this is the career for you, you sicko. Sure, everyone could use a little extra money, but don't forget about all those jars and fluids and dark fetish website subscriptions eating into your profits.


6. Telemarketer

Average Salary: $16k-$41kSome people pay good money to have some really twisted stuff yelled at them. Chances are those people envy telemarketers with a frenzy. They are the only ones. It's actually quite amazing that it's even still a profession, given the fact that in the history of mankind no-one has ever, ever bought something from a telemarketer.