Crazy Frog,

5. Crazy Frog, "Axel F"

"Ding, ding, ding, ding"

There's nothing quite as infuriating or redundant as monotonous, repetitive lyrics in lieu of any value of meaning, just for the sake of a catchy bit. At the very least we can be glad something this overtly vapid appears only once on this list.


4. LMFAO, "Sexy and I Know It"

"Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah/ Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah, yeah"

Goddamn it.

R Kelly, Trapped in the Closet: Chapter 4

3. R Kelly, Trapped in the Closet: Chapter 4

"And she said please no don't stop/ And I said I caught a cramp/ And she said please keep on goin'/ I said my leg is about to crack/ Then she cries out/ Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax/ And I said cool/ Climax/ Just let go of my leg"

No one can describe the force of an impassioned woman with as little enthusiasm as R. Kelly, who here decides to simultaneously describe a racy sex romp and a minor injury.

Kevin Federline,

2. Kevin Federline, "Popazao"

"In Portuguese it means bring your butt/ on the floor, and move it real fast/ I want to see your kitty and a little bit of puppies"

When a woman experiences pregnancy, it's not often you'll find a man willing to sexualize the process so brazenly. But that just goes to show what a gentleman KFed truly is. When the going gets tough, KFed wants to be right there with his boo, relishing in the foreplay of childbirth.

Nicki Minaj,

1. Nicki Minaj, "Monster"

"She on a diet, but her cock is eating cheesecake"

Of all the idiotic song lyrics, the worst are those that are not only vapid, but try to pass the vapidness off as clever. A tortured she-man evades weight loss by consuming creamy desserts through her male genitals? Intelligence and anatomy have not been this offended since Catdog. Nicki Minaj, your assertive nonsense and cockiness have rightly earned you the title of songwriter with the absolute dumbest lyrics.