10. Charlie Chaplin
No-one in the history of mankind has defined the cinematic arts more than Charlie Chaplin, but even this pales in comparison to his 10th-best contribution to mankind's ongoing exploration of the moustache. It was brutal in its simplicity: a small, black rectangle. Some tried in vain to emulate the actor's look (the less said about that the better) but it was no good. In a world of four billion men, and the countless generations of men before them, only one has ever been able to truly be worthy of the Chaplin. And even they, honestly, looked a bit silly.
9. Burt Reynolds
If anyone embodies 70's manliness/what happens when drugs and ego hijack a once-promising career and once-un-bloated physique (the two, in fairness, are pretty much working in tandem), it's Burt Reynolds. While his professional credibility has been worn down over the years (except for a minor but triumphant return to greatness in Without a Paddle) his moustache remains consistently impressive, and a reminder that Without a Paddle 3 still doesn't have a release date.
8. Ron Burgundy (Anchorman)
A moustache, when done right, lends authority and credibility to the speaker. Never more so than in the case of Ron Burgundy, a drunk misogynist who somehow maintained a career in a 20th Century newsroom. It has to have been the moustache. There's no other possible explanation.
7. Mark Twain
Mark Twain: father of contemporary American literature, owner of a damn fine moustache. Notice the difference between these two things? Only one of them actually matters.
6. Tom Selleck
Google image search Tom Selleck and revel in the mystery of how well this guy has aged. It has to either be plastic surgery, or the raw, pulsing energy of his magnificent moustache that sustains him. I know that sounds unlikely, but just look. Really look deep into his face and tell me it's impossible.