Groucho Marx

15. Groucho Marx

The Marx moustache was as important to the man's comedy as the actual comedy itself was. Some gripes could be made about the fact that applying paint and extensions to the moustache might count as cheating, but luckily no rulebook's ever been drawn up. Nor should anyone care anyway.

Hulk Hogan

14. Hulk Hogan

If there's anything that defined my childhood more than Hulkamania, I don't want to know what it was (sorry any therapist I'll ever have). Hulk Hogan is an icon for the ages, best known for his trademark bandanas and the kind of devil-may-care veteran swagger that the Rolling Stones can only foolishly hope to one day match. It was that blonde, commanding moustache that really ran the show, though, and one many try to emulate come November. Still, unless you're willing to rip your shirt off at any given moment and talk loudly and exclusively about America, don't even bother.

Yosemite Sam

13. Yosemite Sam

Yosemite residents may resent their gun-toting, intellectually-challenged cartoon ambassador if it weren't for how damn glorious that moustache is. The only part of Yosemite Sam's face not obscured by facial hair is his nose, which will go soon enough. It's too late to stop it. The moustache has him now.

Samuel L Jackson Pulp Fiction

12. Samuel L Jackson (Pulp Fiction)

It says a lot for the sheer commanding presence of Jules Winfield that at no point does his moustache/muttonchops combo compromise his ability to intimidate. Great facial hair is the sign of a confident man. Near-comical facial hair is the sign of a man who has transcended confidence and has nothing left to lose/someone at comic-con. Be sure to be accurate in your identification before mocking.

Genghis Khan

11. Genghis Khan

Reports vary on the wispiness of what was going down on Khan's upper lip, but they all correlate to its expert, elegant curl. More than anything, Khan is a testament to the power of the moustache in bringing people together: You can be one of the most despicable war criminals humanity has ever known, but play it right when it comes to grooming yourself, and you'll be given your dues.