"105percent" Articles

80 total
All (80) Articles

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #80

    This week's episode: "The Prague Heist!" I really hate swimming. Except when I'm drowning. Then I suddenly think its awesome.-Andrew GundrumPriceline Hostage NegotiatorGunman: If you don't get me a plane, I'm gonna start offin' hostages!PHN:...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    130 / Comments / 1 week ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #79

    The funniest webpage since Gallagher.com folded. Stone and rock: essentially the same thing, until used as verbs. -Abby H. Incredibly accurate "Yo Momma" jokes -Yo momma's so fat she is at major risk for coronary heart disease -Yo...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    64 / Comments / 2 weeks ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #78

    Free for all! Entertaining for none!I hate when people tell me a book is a real page turner. I know how books work.-Steve SchraderI've always fancied myself as a sort of "Renaissance Man", in that my lack of hygiene and sanitation knowledge has...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    88 / Comments / 3 weeks ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #77

    More fun than a barrel of monkeys struggling to breathe.Honest Crotch GrabWhoa, is that your cell phone, or is your cube-shaped d*ck vibrating?-Sarah SchneiderI know I'm dealing with an idiot when someone tells me "nothing rhymes with orange",...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    132 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #76

    Yet another reason to scorn the illiterate. Practical Legal Advice If a jury finds someone guilty of prostitution, it's probably not a great idea for the judge to sentence him/her to community service. -Conor McKeon I don't think...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    82 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #75

    All reading. No learning.I don't know who started the myth that mixing Pop Rocks and Coke will kill you. In me and my friends' experience, the Pop Rocks are completely unnecessary.-Giancarlo FiorentiniHonest Pick-Up LineAre you from Tennessee?...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    96 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #74

    The reason the Japanese invented vowels.What All Chinese Fortune Cookies Should SayYou are about to take a dump in 10 minutes.-Nghia NguyenIf 24 Was Set During Daylight Savings Time"The following events take place between 2 AM and 2 AM."-Shawn...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    111 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #73

    We want to rock 'n' roll all night, party every day, and snag a few nap hours in-between.There's nothing more annoying to me than when a group of people start doing the Electric Slide. Which is why I only attend Amish weddings.-Conor McKeonHow to...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    87 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #72

    Brought to you by Scrabulous: Home EditionWikipedia Should Change the Default For These Pages- Anthrax- Halo-GUTS-Jeff RubinI don't like post-apocalyptic films. I like present-apocalyptic films. Like Apocalypse Now.-Shawn PearlmanWhat Taco Bell...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    113 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #71

    It's like The Great Gatsby of writing.Places I Want To Go Before I DieThe Hospital.-Tyler BrummetThey say dog is man's best friend. Which makes the fact that my girlfriend slept with my dog even more unacceptable.-Dan ChoReal Questions that Sound...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    164 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #70

    The truth is out there. At least that's what we were told.There Will Be Blood is easily the best name ever for a period piece.-Adam NewmanI feel bad for my friend, he's obviously getting married for all the wrong reasons. Like, he must think his...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    151 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #69

    Has my father been sent to the cornfield? 'Cause this is a dream come true! I figured I had failed my company's drug test because I put "C" for every answer. Turns it they just wanted a urine sample. I was really high that day. -Conor...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    167 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #68

    We can't go two sentences without making a. Joke.If pandas know Kung Fu, then how are they endangered?-Dom TetroAm I the only one who thinks NASCAR would be a lot more fun if after the 250th lap they have to start turning right?-Richard...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    54 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #67

    The best 5 dollars you can spend. Because you won't.I was in the hospital and I heard from one of the rooms, "Don't worry everyone, I'm gonna beat this thing." Which I thought was a really positive thing to say, until I realized it came from the...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    85 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #66

    "It's the highlight of my week," said the world's worst father.If Dr. Seuss Was Actually a DoctorDr. Seuss: I do not like this brownish spot. I do not like this dark black dot. I do not like this odd-shaped mole. I do not like this porous hole....

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    64 / Comments / 1 month ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #65

    So good it's not even funny.I ran into a friend yesterday and he asked me to help him move, but I didn't feel like it so I said I had other plans. I just hope for his sake someone said yes and he isn't still in the middle of road, sitting in his...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    71 / Comments / 4 months ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #64

    Each issue is funnier than the next.Unwittingly Accurate Reactions to Unfortunate News-"You're schizophrenic? that's insane!"-"You have OCD? That's so neat!"-"You got a vasectomy? That's nuts!"-Conor McKeonState TriviaDid you know that the flag of...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    63 / Comments / 4 months ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #63

    The next best thing to tickling.I think the government should give delicious meat coats to the homeless next winter. No one should have to be cold and hungry. They should be able to choose their fate.-Kevin CorriganSimilarities Between Prison...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    49 / Comments / 4 months ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #62

    Writing AND jokes? Now that's what I call a triple play!TV Shows Double Amputees May Find OffensiveTwo and a Half MenSo You Think You Can DanceLast Comic Standing-Brian AglerHow Many Electricians Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?Two.One to...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    42 / Comments / 5 months ago

  • 105%

    Article:

    Issue #61

    Made from 100% materials. Time heals all wounds . . . except amputations. -Aaron Thielking Nice to Chant at Re-Election Party, Mean to Yell at Birthday Party"Four more years!" -Patrick Cassels Real Movie Titles That...

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    By 105%-O-Matic
    67 / Comments / 5 months ago

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