Classroom

Back in 10th grade, my German teacher was explaining a project he wanted us to do and said it was worth a lot of points so if we didn't do it, we were screwed. Without even thinking, I blurted out, "But I like to be screwed." The whole class, including my teacher, laughed at me for 10 minutes.

I walked into my 8 o'clock class to be told by my teacher that we have a surprise quiz to take. She hands out the quizzes face down and told us not to flip them over until told so. She then tells us to start. Everyone flips their quizzes over to see a piece of paper that says, "April Fools!". The guy next to me then bolts up from his desk, looks directly at my teacher and tells... Read More » her to "get fucked!". He then grabs his bag and walks out.

So I'm a 4th year uni student who has decided to add and English minor to my degree to help my employment prospects as a teacher. I knew a first year classroom would be painful but I forgot just how painful. We were reviewing some crappy poem and discussing what we could pick up from a first reading. Normal English, touchy feely bullcrap and then one girl took the cake. She raised... Read More » her hand and said "Emotions." When the tutor asked her to clarify/specify she simply said "There's just lots of emotions in this."

My photography teacher showed our class the "God Made a Farmer" video on YouTube because the photography in it was actually really good. At the conclusion of the video YouTube suggestions popped up as always and I noticed in the bottom right corner a suggestion......for Pornhub. I tried to take a picture but I spent so much time laughing and showing everyone else that I missed... Read More » my chance. That made my entire week. Hope it makes yours.

I have a professor who gets annoyed if students wear apparel from other schools. He told us he won't mind people doing that in March if their favorite team "makes it to the big dance." The guy next to me says with a totally straight face, "You mean there's a dance?"

So in class my teacher was telling us how researchers think they found an area like the Garden of Eden. Then a girl in my class says "Wait so they found her (as in Eve)". This is the same girl who thought that Adam and Eve were still alive.

We were doing a Chemistry Practical in our class once, using very expensive chemicals that we had scarce amounts of. We had pipettes to ensure that we use a few drops and that nothing was lost. The teacher, went on and on about this fact, until he noticed two girls at the back chatting, ignoring him. He shouted out at them saying "Sarah, I hope you're listening, I have it on good... Read More » authority that you are a squirter". She went bright red, and the class burst out laughing, and teacher was oblivious to what he said that was possibly so funny.

My old biology teacher from high school once brought a huge home made vagina to our sex ed class.It was made of a pink towel-like fabric and the clit was made out of a plastic bottle cap. Also that day she put a condom on a chair leg.

Back in 2008 i was still in high school and there was this incredibly annoying and loud girl in my class. So, one day, the teacher asked how cattle production worked and this girl raises her hand, stands up on her seat and yells: "THE BULL HUMPS THE COWS"

Back in Grade 11, I had this English teacher who always says the stupidest things each class. The stupidest thing she said was the following, she believed that anything divided by zero was equal to zero. The class spent the next 45 minutes explaining to her that you can't divide by zero. She still didn't believe us.

In 8th grade it was my homeroom/french teacher's first year of teaching. So one day we were watching a french music video that took place in an airport, he gets in front of the class kicks the air in front of him and yells: WEST JET, KICK-ASS!! He never mentioned or talked about it for the remainder of he year.

In my class we were reading "Paradise Lost" and when we got to Jesus a girl in my class asked "Wait did Jesus die before or after he went on the cross"?

I was in a chemistry class and the teacher repeatedly told us that while we are working with acids to NOT touch our face....well one girl had to bright idea itd get rid of a zit on her lip...the next day she looks like an even more screwed up version of the joker and wonders why it didnt work

The first day of my C++ programming class, my professor stood up and said "I don't care what you guys do in this class. If you want to eat, drink, smoke.... go ahead."

I go to a Catholic high school and have a nun as a Theology teaher.One day she was explaining how you can't find any of the books that are in the Bible as separate books (meaning that if you wanted to read a certain book of the Bible, you would need to get the whole Bible, you wouldn't be able to get only 1 book). To explain this, and these were her exact words, she said "You... Read More » can't go to the library and pick up the Gospel of Penis!". No one in my class knows if she was being serious, and if she was, why she said Gospel of Penis. But the best part is that she said this about 5 times in one class.

I took an Intro to Philosophy course my first year of college that met on Mondays and Wednesdays. On the first day the professor said that if you miss 2 classes in the quarter you automatically fail. On Monday of the second week (the third class of the quarter) a new kid walked in and said he just added the class. (This was the last day to add or drop classes.) The professor... Read More » turned to him and said, "Well, you missed two days, so you already failed. So you should probably go back and drop the class."

One day, I walked into the wrong classroom. I walked in and just stood there with a confused look on my face. The class all turned to look at me, abruptly pausing their lesson. The teacher raised his two fingers to his temple, looked deep into my eyes, waved his hand across my field of vision and said "This is not the classroom you are looking for." Stunned I replied "This is... Read More » not the classroom I am looking for." I never learned that professors name, but I hope I can take one of his classes sometime soon!

My first semester of college, I walked into my Philosophy class and sat down. Later, my professor, who had just moved here from England, starts introducing himself and explaining the course content. After about five minutes, a guy sitting in the middle, near the front of the lecture hall (who had been there the entire time) interrupts him mid sentence and says "WHOA, DUDE! Where... Read More » are you from?!" My professor stops and tells him that he is from London, to which the guy responds "Oohhhh! Right on, right on."

I took an environmental conservation class with a professor that was crazy. In addition to being a professor, she also worked at a zoo and she was obsessed with bats. Talking about bats got her hyped up. One of her slide shows had pictures of dead bats and she was sobbing as she was telling us how they died.