I was typing a message to my ex. She said she would marry Stephen Colbert even though he was a republican. I said, "I share views with republicans." "Like what," she said. "Aids, Hiv, and I guess Aids. OH AND RAPE!!" and facebook called me out.
I opened my pink lemonade dum dum only to unearth the fact that it had a slit on the top. As I was inserting this oddly shaped sucker in my mouth, I realized... OMG I stand before you now a changed man having eaten that sucker.