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User

Neil Janowitz featured

Neil Janowitz

About Me

You are Neil Janowitz. You have done nothing in your life thus far to distinguish yourself. At this point, you figure your only hope is to write your bio in the unprecedented second person, seeing as how everyone else will write theirs in either first person or self-deprecating third person. You think you're clever for this. You're kind of pathetic, too.

Member Since

August 29th, 2006

Website

http://www.neiljanowitz.com

  • Contributions
A REFLECTION ON THE EXISTENCE OF PATRICK BATEMAN*, STRUGGLING WRITER Article A REFLECTION ON THE EXISTENCE OF PATRICK BATEMAN*, STRUGGLING WRITER
Trot or Not Article Trot or Not
The Inner Monologue Of An Unnamed 25-Year-Old As He Stands in H & M Trying to Decide Whether Or Not to Buy X-Men Briefs Article The Inner Monologue Of An Unnamed 25-Year-Old As He Stands in H & M Trying to Decide Whether Or Not to Buy X-Men Briefs
The Perils of Youth Article The Perils of Youth
Legendary Creatures: The Bad Female Dancer Article Legendary Creatures: The Bad Female Dancer
Worldly Possessions Article Worldly Possessions
The Holy Grail of Comedy Article The Holy Grail of Comedy
Waxing Romantic Article Waxing Romantic
Getting Rocked Out Article Getting Rocked Out
Fluids Article Fluids
Marking My Territory Article Marking My Territory
Being Enlightened by George Lucas (and one mile's worth of glowing plastic lightsabers) Article Being Enlightened by George Lucas (and one mile's worth of glowing plastic lightsabers)
Rows by any other name would still hurt like a bitch Article Rows by any other name would still hurt like a bitch
What Kind of Pitcher Are You? Article What Kind of Pitcher Are You?
Screeching to a fault Article Screeching to a fault
It's just juice Article It's just juice
Taking the free way Article Taking the free way
Your Final Semester, A Guide To Article Your Final Semester, A Guide To
Chivalry is badly wounded Article Chivalry is badly wounded
Cancellation of second semester goes unnoticed by inebriated students Article Cancellation of second semester goes unnoticed by inebriated students
Bronx bombing Article Bronx bombing
On-field color commentary Article On-field color commentary
Laying the Shak down Article Laying the Shak down
Perpetual growth Article Perpetual growth
123>
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