Neil Janowitz

You are Neil Janowitz. You have done nothing in your life thus far to distinguish yourself. At this point, you figure your only hope is to write your bio in the unprecedented second person, seeing as how everyone else will write theirs in either first person or self-deprecating third person. You think you're clever for this. You're kind of pathetic, too.

  • The Inner Monologue Of An Unnamed 25-Year-Old As He Stands in H & M Trying to Decide Whether Or Not to Buy X-Men Briefs

    The Inner Monologue Of An Unnamed 25-Year-Old As He Stands in H & M Trying to Decide Whether Or Not to Buy X-Men Briefs

  • A REFLECTION ON THE EXISTENCE OF PATRICK BATEMAN*, STRUGGLING WRITER

    A REFLECTION ON THE EXISTENCE OF PATRICK BATEMAN*, STRUGGLING WRITER

  • Trot or Not

    Trot or Not

  • The Perils of Youth

    The Perils of Youth

  • Legendary Creatures: The Bad Female Dancer

    Legendary Creatures: The Bad Female Dancer

  • Worldly Possessions

    Worldly Possessions

  • The Holy Grail of Comedy

    The Holy Grail of Comedy

  • Waxing Romantic

    Waxing Romantic

  • Fluids

    Fluids

  • Getting Rocked Out

    Getting Rocked Out

  • Marking My Territory

    Marking My Territory

  • Being Enlightened by George Lucas (and one mile's worth of glowing plastic lightsabers)

    Being Enlightened by George Lucas (and one mile's worth of glowing plastic lightsabers)

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