I am awesome. I am also a professional writer. To date I have been paid $8.57 for about 100 articles that I have written. That works out to about 8.5 cents per article, but I'm hoping that once they hit syndication I will be rolling in the dough.

I also enjoy long walks on the beach, because girls dig that kind of stuff, and I dig girls, which I feel oddly compelled to say here.

I graduated from college but I am trying my damnedest to cling on to that wonderful time of my life. I'm contemplating graduate school just so that I can not feel like such a tool hanging out around campus.