Fuck this, I'm taking the bus next time.
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Brunchables
The kids' snack so hip you'll need reservations.
Why Sex Is Magic
Abraca-orgasm.
Best of Dorkly: Smash Bros. Fatalities
The ESRB may have to reevaluate their rating.
Very Mary-Kate: Raise Your Hand
I can't raise my hand. I'm allergic to effort.
Dating, It's Complicated: The Drawer Incident
When it rains, it pours. Condoms.
The Breath Expert
Meet a man with an unusually useless talent.



+
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.