A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
Steven Spielberg needs new stand-ins for his CGI dinosaurs in the upcoming Jurassic Park 4. A new American Idol spinoff is created to travel America in search of the best Dinosaur impersonators.
Jake and Amir: Secret Santa
Presents, presents are no fun.
The Bad Breath Holdout
Ruining relationships for science.
Roommate Confessions: The Hypocrite
Revenge is a dish best reheated in the microwave.
The Breath Expert
Meet a man with an unusually useless talent.
Can I Give You A Ticket? (With Anna Torv)
She's not asking for much.
Dating, It's Complicated: The Drawer Incident
When it rains, it pours. Condoms.



Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
Scarlett Johansson in a bikini -- I'd try to describe it but something would get lost in translation
"mirror... MIRROR!" - The Joker, also this guy.
This guy is #1
The internet is working as intended.
Hot athletic girls working a pole
Put that English degree to work over-analyzing beloved children's entertainment.
A good resource if you base you fantasy football team on great hair.