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Turtle Can't Eat the Tomato

He's the turtle version of Sisyphus. His owner cursed him to try and eat a cherry tomato for all eternity, or until his mom finds out and gives him some lettuce.

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Have you thought about your soul

I just joined a natural products company as a sales representative and am really excited about it. The other day I was on a plane next to a really nice old couple. After a few minutes of small talk, they mentioned that they both had bad arthritis. I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to tell them about our products. I gave a 10 minute talk about how our products... Read More » could improve their daily life. They listened intently and then ended by saying they would not need it because God would tell them when to die. Turns out they were Jehovah's Witnesses, who spent the rest of the plane ride concerned about my immortal soul.