Hardly Working: Troughing

By

Patrick Cassels

          INT. SOMEWHERE IN THE OFFICE NEAR A TABLE (DAY)

          Jeff and Amir are eating lunch. Sandwiches. BLT's with
          chicken and avocados. On whole wheat, toasted. MMM. So good.

                              AMIR
                    I've had a cold-- like a bad
                    headcold, coughing, sneezing, sore
                    throat, for the past... 40, 50
                    weeks.

                              JEFF
                    Are you bragging?

          Streeter sits down with a salad and a bowl of chili.

                              STREETER
                    Hey duders.

                              JEFF/AMIR
                    Hey duder.

                              STREETER
                    You guys mind if I trough this?

                              JEFF
                    Nope.

                              AMIR
                    Trough?

          Streeter dumps the salad and chili into a mini trough
          (breadloaf pan.) and starts shoveling the food into his
          mouth with his hands, snorting.

                              AMIR
                    Oh my god.

                              STREETER
                    What? Did we kill Osama?

                              AMIR
                    Yeah, a while ago, but I'm talking
                    about how you're eating.

                              STREETER
                    You said it was okay.

                              AMIR
                    Jeff said it was okay. I just said
                    "Trough?"

                              STREETER
                         (to Jeff)
                    You gonna finish that?

                              JEFF
                    No.

                              STREETER
                    Toss it in the trough.

          Jeff tosses his sandwich in there.

                              STREETER
                    Jesus, like, break it up when you
                    toss it in. Piece by piece. Here.

          Streeter gets Jeff's hands down and dirty, separating the
          sandwich and pressing it down into the trough.

                              STREETER
                    See that?

                              JEFF
                    Yeah, sorry.

          Back to troughing for Streeter.

                              AMIR
                    Why?

                              JEFF
                    Back off, you put ketchup on your
                    eggs.

                              AMIR
                    PEOPLE DO THAT. And I wasn't even
                    talking to you.

          Pat comes by with a plate of half finished lasagna and
          brown rice. He stands next to Streeter, offering him.

                              PAT
                    Hey duder. Interested?

          Streeter examines.

                              PAT
                    Lasagna. Brown rice.

                              STREETER
                    Ya, ya, drop it.

          Pat scrapes the food into Streeter's trough. He breaks it up
          with his hands like a pro. Streeter resumes troughing his
          lunch.

                              AMIR
                    God, you sound disgusting.

          Pat starts walking away, Streeter without looking up grabs
          the back of Pats knee and grunts.

                              STREETER
                    I SAID DROP IT.

                              PAT
                    I did!

          Streeter lets go. Pat limps away.

                              AMIR
                    Is this like a time-saving thing?

                              STREETER
                    You tell me!

          Streeter shows Amir the trough. It's still full.

                              AMIR
                    There's still a LOT a LOT of food
                    in there.

                              STREETER
                    Pat threw in some Lasagna. My salad
                    and my chili is pretty much gone.

                              AMIR
                    Lotta chili left, man.

          Sarah comes by and throws in a Kraft single cheese slice.

                              STREETER
                    That's Lasagna. No way, that's
                    lasagna. (to Sarah) Thanks.

                              JEFF
                    It's lasagna, Amir. Trust me.

                              AMIR
                    You're not looking! (to Streeter)
                    Down there. That's lasagna?

                              STREETER
                    That's chili that's like, a little
                    bit of chili. (moving food around)

                              AMIR
                    It's not.

          Murph pours in the rest of his blue powerade.

                              STREETER
                         (to murph)
                    Thanks.
                         (back to Amir)
                    There's a little bit of tuna
                    casserole stuck to the side from
                    last week--

                              AMIR
                    Gross.

                              STREETER
                    How often do you clean your trough.

                              AMIR
                    Never. I don't use a--

                              STREETER
                    You're the gross one then. Fact is,
                    I'm about to switch to my work
                    trough while you're still nursing
                    that small ass sandwich. That's
                    efficiency.

                              AMIR
                    Work trough?

          Streeter scoops the remains into a paper cup, the kind they
          serve frozen yogurt in, and puts a rubber band around it and
          his head so it sticks to his face like a surgical mask.

                              STREETER
                    See. Work trough.

                              AMIR
                    Where do you even get that?

                              STREETER
                    Standard to-go container. Won ton
                    soup comes in something like this.
                    Fro-yo, like 16 handles on 2nd
                    ave--

          He then walks towards his computer with his head tilted
          back, eating, dripping chili, snorting. He starts working.
          Snorting. Dripping.

                              AMIR
                         (eating his sandwich)
                    Right right. This is okay?
                    Everybody is okay with this?

          Shot of Streeter eating, snorting, dripping. Amir is yelling
          to all who will listen.

                              AMIR
                         (still eating)
                    Yeah? Cool then! I'm the crazy one
                    I guess!

                              PAT
                    Stop talking with your mouth full.

                              AMIR
                    Sorry.

          THE END

          POST-HUH

          The entire office is silently working in a super wide shot.
          We can see, and more importantly hear, Streeter just eating
          away with his work trough.