Say neigh to horseplay.
By Caldwell Tanner
INT. OFFICE, 274 DAYS BEFORE THE BLOODRECKONING
STREETER and PAT are walking past JEFF's desk.
And that's how fudge is made.
Ohhh, See I would have never
thought about rounding the corner,
thanks for the tip!
Hey no probl-WHOA!
STREETER is shocked as JEFF jumps on him from behind.
Surprise Horsey Ride Goooo!
Jeff cut it out! You know I have
chronic sunburned shoulders!
STREETER begins bucking wildly. JEFF whoops and laughs.
Get off! Pat tell him to stop!
Cut to PAT, who responds jokingly to STREETER
He can't stop now, he's almost got
the record! Go Jeff Go!
Cut to a CROWD of coworkers they begin chanting, PAT eagerly
Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!
Close on MURPH, who is shouting angrily.
RIDE HIM, JEFF! RIDE HIM LIKE THE
BEAUTIFUL STALLION HE IS.
(Still struggling to buck
Jeff knock it off!! Someone's gonna
STREETER then trips and falls over, tossing Jeff to the
side. A crunching sound is heard.The CROWD gasps. JEFF and
PAT rush over and kneel in front of STREETER.
Oh no! I reckon I went too far!
(Grabbing his leg in pain)
OWW! My leg! I think it's broken!
Hush up now, boy. The doctor's on
his way. Here, have an apple.
PAT starts shoving an apple into STREETER's face, he spits
it out and tries to stand up.
I don't need an apple, man, here
just help me up! Guys?
Tell me straight, Pat, will he ever
PAT removes the cowboy hat he wasn't wearing until just now.
T'ain't for me to say, son. S'in
God's hands now.
Cut to STREETER still on the floor with his phone out.
Okay I called the emergency room,
can someone help me get a cab or-
Cut SARAH who is dressed from head to toe as a FRONTIER
DOCTOR, complete with black medicine bag, cowboy hat and a
giant curly mustache.
It's worse than I figgered!
Dr. Schneider! What do you think?
Will Ol' Streetey pull though?
Why does Sarah have a mustache?
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put
this stud out of his mis'ry. He's
all washed up.
No doc, He's my horse. I figger I
ough to do it.
You've become a fine man, yer
father'd be right proud.
Is anyone even listening to me
SARAH pulls an impossibly long shotgun out of her medicine
bag and hands it to JEFF, who is now also wearing a cowboy
hat. Mournful Western music begins playing.
Thanks doc. I reckon he would too.
JEFF nods at PAT, who removes his hat in reverence. He then
turns back to STREETER.
Jeff! Hey finally! Can you help me
STREETER raises his hand, we then cut to JEFF raising the
A loud gunshot is heard. Everyone in the office removes
their cowboy hats and looks sad. A single tear falls from
MURPH's eye. The camera then pans out to show that Murph is
riding Kevin. He sighs loudly.
It's a damn shame, ain't it Kev.
Let's go home.
He digs his heels into Kevin's sides and rides off.
JEFF is putting together a collage of Streeter that reads
"IN MEMORIAM". He realizes he is out of glue, and reaches
for a giant bottle of paste labeled "STREETER GLUE."