From CH Staff on
There are no easy answers. From Front Page Films.
By Front Page Films
INT. WAREHOUSE - HALLWAY BATMAN walks down the hall cautiously. BATMAN Rachel? INT. WAREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM RACHEL DAWES is bound to an operating table. RACHEL Batman! BATMAN Rachel! RIDDLER (O.S.) A riddle for you, Batman. THE RIDDLER steps out of the shadows, pointing a sub-machine gun at Rachel. This isn't your comic-book campy version of the Riddler, he's twisted and clearly insane. He has self inflicted scars of question marks all over his face and body. He wears a dirty green fedora and has dark circles around his eyes. He wears a green necktie and a purple shirt with the sleeves rolled up, so we see his scars. Batman starts to approach Riddler. Riddler puts the gun directly to Rachel's head. Batman stops in his tracks. RIDDLER (CONT'D) Don't you want to know what it is? BATMAN Don't hurt her, Riddler. RIDDLER Okay then. If you aim to give us a shot, we can riddle you. What are we? BATMAN Okay...wow...stumper...can you repeat the question? RIDDLER If you AIM to give us a SHOT we can RIDDLE YOU... BATMAN Riddle me? RIDDLER Yes, what would you be riddled with? RACHEL It's bulle-- RIDDLER No, let him answer. BATMAN A bull? RIDDLER How did you come to that. BATMAN I thought that's what she said. RIDDLER No,it's not bulls. BATMAN You know what? I have no idea. RIDDLER Seriously? I have ten more of these and they get harder. This one was just to get us started. BATMAN Is it helicopters? RIDDLER What? How does that work? BATMAN You know cause they... (gives up) I don't know. RIDDLER Okay, lets try this again. If you AIM... (motions with his gun) To give us a shot...POW, you know. We can riddle you...with us, you can be riddled by us. BATMAN Is it you? You're riddling me. RIDDLER Okay... (takes a moment to collect himself) Riddle doesn't necessarily mean a joke or brainteaser in this scenario. BATMAN Huh? RACHEL Batman, some words have multiple meanings so in this case... BATMAN No hints! I'll get it. If you aim to give us a shot we can riddle you. RIDDLER (to rachel) What do you see in him? RACHEL At the moment I'm not sure. BATMAN I got it! It's me! RIDDLER Oh my god no. You can get riddled with something that you aim and shoot. It's really all right there for you. Just put it together. BATMAN ...Still nothing. RIDDLER Really? Really? BATMAN Hold on. Batman puts his hand to his ear. BATMAN (CONT'D) Lucius. Come in. I'm spelunking and I need help. LUCIUS FOX (O.C.) (Morgan Freeman voice) Spelunking. Of course. Go ahead. BATMAN It's a riddle: If you aim to give us a shot we can riddle you. What are we? LUCIUS FOX Hmmm...is it helicopters? BATMAN No, that's what I thought. LUCIUS FOX Let me check the supercomputer...It's doing the little spinny ball thing. BATMAN Okay, I'll wait. RIDDLER OH MY GOD IT'S BULLETS! BULLETS! You AIM, you give them a SHOT and then you are RIDDLED with bullets. BATMAN How could a bullet riddle me? Bullets don't talk. RIDDLER OH MY GOD. THEN I WAS GOING TO SHOOT YOU, LIKE THIS! Riddler shoots batman. The bullet ricochets off of his armor and hits Riddler in the leg, causing him to collapse. Batman goes over to him and starts to cuff him. BATMAN You know, it's no fun if you give away the answer. (to rachel) Let's go Rachel. RACHEL You know what, I'll find my own way home... LUCIUS FOX (O.C.) Okay the spinny ball went away...the answer is....oh it's back.