We Are The 1%

By

Dan Gurewitch & Patrick Cassels

          EXT. DILAPIDATED CITY STREET - DAY

          SHOTS OF the HOMELESS, UNEMPLOYED, RUNDOWN HOMES, etc.

                              MAN 1 (V.O.)
                    When Occupy Wall Street started and
                    we learned that the richest 1% of
                    the US population controls 43% of
                    the country's wealth, we were
                    shocked.

          MAN-ON-STREET style INTERVIEW with TWO RICH, CLEAN-CUT GUYS
          in SUITS. (All interviews are handled like this: EXTREMELY
          WEALTHY PEOPLE speaking to a questioner just OFF-CAMERA.)

                              MAN 1
                    That means that there's 57% of the
                    wealth that we don't have. That is
                    an OUTRAGE.

                              MAN 2
                    So, we're taking our message to the
                    root of the problem: Main Street.

                              MEN 1 & 2
                    We Are The One Percent!

          WEALTHY PEOPLE descend on the dilapidated street, past
          various CONFUSED ONLOOKERS:

                              WEALTHY CROWD
                         (chanting)
                    WHAT DO WE HAVE?/MOST OF THE
                    MONEY!/WHAT DO WE WANT?/THE REST OF
                    IT!

          Woman 1 speaks to camera as the crowd marches behind her.

                              WOMAN 1
                    This is so exciting. There are
                    literally dozens of us.

          New interview set-up: MAN 3 and WOMAN 2.

                              MAN 3
                    And now Obama wants this
                    "Millionaire's Tax?" When I heard
                    that, I dropped everything and had
                    my driver bring me to my helipad.

                              WOMAN 2
                    Do they really think we can afford
                    having an infinitesimally smaller
                    amount of money? Just admit, 1 of
                    us is worth 262 of her.

          RE: A MIDDLE-CLASS WOMAN with groceries. New interview:

                              MAN 4
                    If we have to pay more, countless
                    businesses will fail. Speedboat
                    Upholstery: DONE. Condos in Dubai:
                    EMPTY. Rhino-Hunting Hats: NO
                    LONGER WITH IVORY-TIPPED BRIMS.

          WHIP TO: A Teddy Roosevelt-style MILLIONAIRE looks at his
          safari hat with disgust. He throws it to the ground.

          SOAPBOX MAN, sitting atop a platform held by SERVANTS,
          rallies the millionaires:

                              SOAPBOX MAN
                    We're already making enough
                    sacrifices. My butler's butler had
                    to fire his butler's butler.

          The crowd REACTS to his sad story, angrily sipping tea.

          WOMAN 4 holds up a sign with letters spelled out in RED
          JEWELS, reading: "I USED ALL OF MY RUBIES ON THIS SIGN"

                              WOMAN 4
                    I'm sick of poor people mooching
                    off my hard-earned success! Just a
                    minute ago someone asked if they
                    could use this sign as their roof!

          New interview, with MAN 5 and MAN 6.

                              MAN 5
                    Does the government think I'm going
                    to be the first generation of my
                    family to share our wealth? I'm
                    rich. My daddy was rich. His daddy
                    was rich. His daddy had slaves.

                              MAN 6
                         (interrupting)
                    Look at these fat cats.

          Camera WHIPS over to a HOMELESS MAN, lying on the ground
          surrounded by THREE FAT, DIRTY ALLEY CATS meowing softly.

                              WOMAN 5
                    Did you know there are still some
                    laws that apply to us? Check out
                    this video I took of a cop
                    straight-up refusing a bribe.

          INSERT: Grainy CELL PHONE VIDEO of a WEALTHY PERSON offering
          a COP money and the cop politely refusing.

                              WOMAN 5 (V.O.)
                    Land of the free, right?

          SOAPBOX MAN continues rallying everyone from atop his perch.

                              SOAPBOX MAN
                    Why should I have to pay a
                    Millionaire's Tax? I'm a
                    billionaire!

          Everyone CHEERS. New interview:

                              WOMAN 6
                    Fox News is calling us "Organized."
                    "Patriotic." "Purposeful." Ugh,
                    only three adjectives? Why did I
                    even buy that network?

          New interview:

                              MAN 7
                    We're prepared to stay here as long
                    as it takes. We bought all the real
                    estate in the area and drove out
                    the existing homeowners.

          CUT TO: A poor family moving out, holding boxes of objects.

                              WOMAN 7
                    Our movement started here, but it's
                    spreading to other places. Occupy
                    Detroit! Occupy Blanchard,
                    Oklahoma! Occupy the Long John
                    Silvers off Route 21!

                              MAN 8
                    Listen man, it comes down to this:
                    If being rich is wrong, we don't
                    WANT to be poor.

          The entire WEALTHY CROWD CHANTS:

                              WEALTHY CROWD
                    WE ARE THE ONE PERCENT!

          TEXT: Visit WeAreTheOnePercent.Org. There Is A Pay Wall.