Transformers in 1-D

By

Patrick Cassels

          SUPER : THIS CHRISTMAS.

                              OPTIMUS PRIME (V.O.)
                    ...We are autonomous robotic
                    organisms from Cybertron.

          SUPER: SEE TRANSFORMERS IN A WHOLE NEW DIMENSION...

                              MEGATRON (V.O.)
                    ...You fight for the weak. That is
                    why you lose.

          SUPER: ...ONE

          FIREBALL WIPE to black. A single HORIZONTAL LINE stretches
          across the screen. All characters and objects in the film
          are tiny colored segments trapped on this line.

          A small silver segment slides into frame. This is MEGATRON.
          OPTIMUS PRIME slides in from the other side. It's silly.

                              MEGATRON
                    I'll destroy you, Optimus!

                              OPTIMUS LINE SEGMENT
                    Let's end this, Megatron!

          The two line segments slide toward each other, clash. We
          hear AMAZING BATTLE NOISES.

          Another FIRE WIPE.

                              OPTIMUS LINE SEGMENT
                    Transformers assemble: Bumblebee,
                    Ratchet, Jazz, Ironhide.

          As Optimus lists them off we cut to "profile" shots of each
          Transformer. They're all, yup, line segments.

                              BUMBLEBEE
                    Check!

                              RATCHET
                    Affirmative!

                              IRONHIDE
                    Hey, bub!

                              BUMBLEBEE
                    Yo!

                              OPTIMUS
                    Autobots, TRANSFORM!

          AMAZING SFX. The Autobot lines get get smaller.

                              SAM
                    Am I actually seeing this right
                    now?!

          A new FLASHY TRANSITION.

                              JOHN TURTURRO
                    The Decepticons are too powerful.
                    They have tanks...

          CUT TO a moving line with tank SFX.

                              JOHN TURTURRO (CONT'D)
                    Planes...

          CUT TO a moving line with plane SFX.

                              JOHN TURTURRO (CONT'D)
                    Elaborate underground drills.

          CUT TO  a moving line with drill SFX.

                              OPTIMUS
                    It matters not. I have vowed to
                    protect this world, from one
                    connecting point to the other.

          SUPER: 2 SIDES... 1 COORDINATE IN SPACE.

                              OPTIMUS PRIME
                    We must find the sacred Cube before
                    they do.

                              SAM
                    What's a "cube?"

          SUPER: NO WIDTH.

                              JOHN TURTURRO
                    We don't know where the Decepticons
                    are hiding.
                         (beat)
                    But we do know it can only be in
                    one direction.

          SUPER: NO DEPTH.

                              MEGAN FOX
                    I'm scared Sam, hold me.

          Two lines join to make one big, romantic line.

          SUPER: NO MERCY.

          CLOSE UP on Megatron.

                              MEGATRON
                    Behold, the Decepticon's newest
                    weapon, and tremble!

          Ominous music rises as another segment slowly enters near
          Megatron, like the saucers in Independence Day.

                              GENERAL LINE SEGMENT
                    My God. Call the President.
                         (beat)
                    NOW!

          A few line segment bureaucrats scurry out, "Yes sir..."

          TITLE CARD: TRANSFORMERS IN 1-D.