From CH Staff on
He's been workshopping a few things. From Front Page Films.UnsSubscribe ToFrom Batman
By Front Page Films
EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT Flass takes a falafel and the tip money from a vendor. VENDOR C'mon, man. I have kids to feed! FLASS What, they don't like falafel? Flass goes into the alley, sloppily eating the falafel when SUDDENLY he is caught by his foot and swung up into the fire escape by an unseen wire. A very severe close-up of Batman looking bad-ass. BATMAN (high, squeaky voice) Where were the other drugs going? A moment of fear as Flass swings back and forth. FLASS Uh, uh. I don't know... I never knew, I swear to... wait. BATMAN (high, squeaky voice) What? FLASS What... what voice is that? (BATMAN (same) What? No good? I'm... (normal voice, no affect) You know I worked on it all day. FLASS Doesn't really fit the whole bat, dark theme. BATMAN Ok. Ok. Can I show you another one? FLASS No, asshole. BATMAN (new voice) You don't have a choice. FLASS Even worse. Batman drops Flass, his face almost hitting the concrete, Batman reels him back up. A montage of Batman doing the lines "Where were the other drugs going," "Do I look like a cop?" in different voices. Spanish ("Donde esta los drugas?") Helium Voice (we see Batman suck down a balloon) Schwarzenegger Ray Romano Al Pacino Keanu-ish (Surfer dude) Effeminate southern The Joker ("Do I really look like a guy... with a plan?") Patrick Stewart Mark Wahlberg John Malkovich Morgan Freeman BATMAN (screaming at the top of his lungs) DO I LOOK LIKE A COP! DO I? HUH! I ASKED YOU WHERE ARE THE OTHER DRUGS- -(cough) Go-- (cough)--shit. FLASS Are you alright? BATMAN (raspy, mysterious voice) Ow...think I strained my voice a bit. FLASS Wait...try it again. BATMAN Where were the other drugs going? FLASS You know...not bad. BATMAN Where were the other drugs going! FLASS I think you got it. BATMAN Really? You like it? FLASS Yeah, swear to God. BATMAN SWEAR TO ME! Batman drops Flass. He screams, but as he nears the floor, he slows down and lowers Flass to the ground safely. Batman walks away awkwardly. BATMAN (CONT'D) Alfred. Get the Vap-o-Rub. And Chloroseptic. END.