These human beings are proud to be Human Beings.
By Ben Joseph & David Young
TITLE CARD: GREENDALE TV LOGO
This ad was produced with the help
of the Greendale AV Kidz. The
Greendale AV Kidz: We're also the
STATIC CUT TO:
INT. DEAN'S OFFICE
DEAN PELTON looks up from a book and addresses camera.
Hi. Dean Pelton here. Due to a
teensy little attendance problem -
and a rather tenacious grease fire
- Greendale has to close its doors
for a few months.
The Dean stands up.¬†
However, while we're away, we hope
you don't forget all the great
things Greendale has to offer.
JEFF stands in front of the stacks.
Greendale provides valuable
services to the community. Such as:
Overflow parking for the White
Castle next door.¬†
BULLET POINT GRAPHIC: -OVERFLOW PARKING FOR THE WHITE CASTLE NEXT
DOOR. A short beat.
INT. STUDY ROOM
ANNIE and TROY address camera.
Sure, some people call Greendale a¬†
"fifth-rate safety school."
What, would you rather go to a
That doesn't sound cool to me at
BRITTA sits on a desk next to a box of SOGGY MAGAZINES.
Greendale currently maintains the
world's largest collection of water
damaged National Geographics.
Beat that, Dartmouth.
ABED walks toward camera.
Wi-fi enabled. Handicap accessible.
Raccoon free. With your support,
Greendale could be all of these
things by the end of 2014.
STARBURNS walks down the hallway.
If Greendale doesn't reopen, you'll
miss our Spring Spectacular,
featuring appearances by this
picture of Luis Guzman and this
cease and desist from [CENSORED].
He holds up a picture of Luis Guzman and a framed cease and desist.
The cease and desist is blurred out.
The Dean gestures to the school behind him.
It would actually cost the city
more to tear Greendale down then to
keep it running.
Is a fact that, if true, would
really help us out.
PIERCE sits at a table and talks to not-quite camera.
I met Ted Danson in a Chili's once.
He was unpleasant.
SHIRLEY sits on a bench.
Greendale has a long tradition of
sheltering the homeless!
We're too scared to ask them to go
REVEAL: Two scary BUMS sleeping next to her. One YAWNS, unintentionally
grazing Shirley. She jumps a bit.
(to bum, nervously)
Dean Pelton stands with a number of students.
So come back and see us soon! We
know the Greendale Experience is
one you'll never forget.
The Greendale Experience. Because
we're not legally allowed to call
it an education.
In the background, a SCREAMING STUDENT runs by, trying to pull
a raccoon off his neck. SAVE GREENDALE comes up.