Sing along! Actually no, just find my phone.
By Elaine Carroll & Sam Reich
INT. BAR - NIGHT
MARY-KATE and LIMOR are at a table with the rest of her
band: BLACK EYE and DAVE. The MC takes the stage.
Okay, that was Night People. Next
up is the Dark, featuring Black Guy.
Nah, I can't hear you.
Black Eye and Dave go to take the stage, but Limor hangs
back. She is clearly very nervous.
Isn't this you?
(motioning to a waitress)
One more shot.
But aren't you supposed to-
Supposed to? I didn't get into
music because I'm supposed to
anything. I don't give a shit about
what people think.
She does a shot.
How's my eye make-up?
(from the stage)
Wish me luck.
Limor takes the stage. She speaks into the mic very
nervously, all her words running together.
We're the Dark our songs don't have
lyrics our music speaks for itself.
They start playing. It's not bad!
Whoa, this is pretty good! I
should probably unschedule my tweet
about this being bad.
Wait, where's my phone?
Next thing you know, Mary-Kate has taken over the mic. The
band stops, clumsily.
Excuuuuse me. Excuse me. Has
anyone seen my phone?
Deathly silence. Limor looks mortified.
Then, the drummer kicks back in. He cuts out just in time
for Mary-Kate to interject again.
No, seriously, has anyone seen my
The drummer kicks back in, on a rhythm. The audience is
into it. This "clicks" for Mary-Kate. She starts playing
It's an iPhone 4 with a unicorn on
the back. /
It's pink and the ring is set to
Drums. This is now a mini music video.
It's got the number of my mother
and Calvin Klein.
I'd get another but I don't want to
stand in line.
If you got two phones when you get
home, give me a call. /
No wait, I'm phoneless, you can
post to my Facebook wall. /
Unless I'm homeless 'cause I can't
find my way back home. /
Or else a Jonas brother loans me a
Can you call my phone? /
I can't find it. /
Wait, I put it on silent /
So calling won't work. /
Can you find my phone?
I'm lost without it. /
Seriously, I need the GPS to get me
back to my apartment.
A guy holds up Mary-Kate's phone in the back.
Is this it?
Mary-Kate abruptly leaves the stage, leaving the band in a
mix of exhilaration and confusion. Limor looks pissed.