From the makers of The Voice. You don't need senses to sense true talent.
By Patrick Cassels
INT. A MOODY, REDDISH REALITY SHOW STAGE
A few archetypal images (hopefuls singing
their hearts out, contestants crying, etc.) flash as an
ANNOUNCER woos us:
Tonight, immediately following
Broken Badge, stay tuned for NBC's
groundbreaking new music
competition: The Vibe.
The celebrity JUDGES deliver TALKING HEAD testimonials:
Most singing reality shows, they're
only about the image. But The Vibe
On The Vibe, auditions are 100%
Join judges Lisa Loeb, Bobby
Brackins and DJ Mike Catherwood in
total sensory deprivation as they
search for America's next great
CUT TO the auditions. The judges sit in SENSORY DEPRIVATION
TANKS: odd-looking open tubs filled with milky water. They
wear blinders, plastic earmuffs and swimsuits under black
From her bizarre homeostasis, LOEB smiles:
Woo! I have a good feeling about
this girl! I'm feeling, like, I
think she's a middle-aged black
woman. Maybe older, but yeah.
REVEAL the contestant on stage is actually a skinny British
boy (TOM PHILIP). Beneath his TV smile, he's confused.
Right, no, my name's Tom Philip.
I'm from Bristol.
I've got no idea what's going on
but you're gonna be a STAR sister!
I haven't sung yet.
An unsure Tom shuffles off as we jump to more TALKING HEADS:
We're not influenced by phony
things like age or clothes. Or the
sound and tone of their singing...
...or the temperature of the room,
what time of day or night it is...
...or any sensation there's another
human around whatsoever!!!
ON STAGE. A pretty FEMALE CONTESTANT finishes a ballad with
big, throaty notes. She smiles and pants. The studio
audience goes nuts, then finally dies down. Beat.
LOEB (IN TANK)
You can start whenever you want.
The Female Contestant drops her head.
It's just us, the singer, and the
imaginary people that materialize
in our heads after sitting in an
utter black void for 4 hours.
BRACKINS (IN TANK)
Eleven years old and you came all
the way from Canada by yourself to
sing tonight? That's crazy!
REVEAL two middle-aged HISPANIC GRIPS on stage, taking down
lights. They turn around.
HISPANIC GRIP 1
Um, we're wrapped guys.
LOEB (IN TANK)
I did not expect skills like this
from a married white guy with
dreadlocks from Louisiana!
HISPANIC GRIP 2
(to Grip 1, re: tanks)
These things freak me out.
CATHERWOOD (IN TANK)
I think I see my father!
BRACKINS (TALKING HEAD)
The only thing that matters on The Vibe
is the music!
Or, you know, the music we sense as
we spend our days in inky
This week, country sensation Chuck
Wicks joins the crew as guest
An ALT COUNTRY CONTESTANT takes his Stetson off.
ALT CONTESTANT (CHOKING UP)
Mr. Wicks, you've just been a true
inspiration to me.
CUT TO guest CHUCK WICKS strapped into one of the tubs.
Unlike the seasoned judges, this is super weird to him.
I'm sorry. I just, I cannot see or
hear anything. At all. I'm very
CHUCK WICKS (TALKING HEAD)
It was the most horrifying
experience of my life.
And stay tuned next week for Round
2, when our isolated judges start
experiencing Vision Quests.
Catherwood, in his tank, waves his arms around mystically.
I thought I owned the car, but the
car owns me! You are wise, Spirit
Wolf. I return you to the wave of
colors from whence you came.
CUT TO WIDE. The studio is completely empty. The two grips
enter, wearing jackets and carrying lunch pails.
HOLY F*CK WERE THEY HERE ALL
It's The Vibe, followed by an
It's-New-to-You Chuck, only on NBC.