Hardly Working: Leaked Nude Photos

By

David Young

          INT. LUNCH TABLE - DAY

          STREETER and DAVID sit at the table, grubbin' and shit.

                              STREETER
                    What don't you understand? I'm not
                    afraid of ghosts; I'm afraid of
                    ghouls.

          PAT walks in, looking angry. He sits.

                              PAT
                    I can't believe it. You guys hear
                    about Olivia Munn's phone being
                    hacked? All of her personal photos
                    were leaked online, including some
                    really risqué stuff.

                              DAVID
                    Ugh, are you serious? What's with
                    people these days? I mean, I get
                    that they're celebrities, but they
                    still deserve their privacy.

          Streeter pulls out his phone. As he talks, he types.

                              STREETER
                    Exactly! It's despicable. Like,
                    where's the line?

          INSERT OF HIS PHONE: He types, "Olivia Munn Nude Photos."
          Streeter continues without looking up from his phone.

                              STREETER
                    Do celebrities not get the same
                    protection we get? They're not
                    animals in a zoo for god sakes.

          Streeter turns his phone and head sideways. He's looking at
          the photos.

                              STREETER
                         (softly, to himself)
                    Oh, that's nice.

                              DAVID
                    I've been saying that for years!

          David pulls out his IPAD. As he talks, we see what he types:
          "Olivia Munn boobies pics."

                              DAVID
                    And our society just promotes this
                    behavior. Someone needs to finally
                    stand up and say enough is enough!

          With his two fingers, David enlarges an image on his IPad.
          And continues to enlarge it.

                              DAVID
                    It's just a slippery slope is all.
                         (quietly to himself)
                    Mmmmm, wow. I'd love to slip on
                    those slopes.

                              PAT (O.S.)
                    And the hackers are only getting
                    more sophisticated.

          REVEAL: Pat has set up his entire DESKTOP COMPUTER on the
          table. He intently looks at the screen.

                              PAT
                    You'd think these new phones would
                    slow them down, but nope.

          Pat types: "Olivia Munn crotch shots." A list of links pop
          up, and Pat opens all of them in different tabs like a pro.

                              PAT
                    Like what can celebrities do to
                    protect themselves from these
                    monsters?
                         (beat, then softly)
                    That's a nice serpent socket.

          JOSH approaches, even more worked up then the guys.

                              JOSH
                    You guys talking about the Olivia
                    Munn phone hack?

          He paces around the guys, stopping at each of their screens
          and looking at the photos. He never misses a beat.

                              JOSH
                    It's complete bull shit! (LOOKS AT
                    PHOTO, SOFTLY) Sweet fairy pillows.
                    I mean is nothing sacred!? (LOOKS
                    AT PHOTO, SOFTLY) Hot fish mitten.
                    In 5 years, I bet this is going to
                    happen every day! (LOOKS AT PHOTO,
                    SOFTLY) E-mail me that ASAP. I
                    couldn't find it without the stars
                    over her snow caps.
                         (BEAT)
                    I just want to do something to
                    help! UGH!

          SAM, upset, approaches with a large stack of printed paper

                              SAM
                    And what can Olivia do? Pretty much
                    nothing, because then she's the bad
                    guy! It's just all so backwards!
                         (to himself)
                    And forwards. And on her hands and
                    knees.

          Sam lays the pieces of paper out on the table. He begins
          taping them together.

                              SAM
                    I can't just stand by and watch our
                    society crumble. We should start
                    some type of petition.

          Everyone mumbles in agreement, but no one looks up from
          their phone/iPad/computer.

          REVEAL Sam is taping together a large printout of one of the
          Olivia Munn photos.

                              EMILY (O.S.)
                    Guys, enough!

          Emily's at her desk and throws off her headphones in a huff.

                              EMILY
                    You're all a bunch of hypocrites!
                    You don't actually hate the photos;
                    you just don't want to admit loving
                    them. From my perspective, I think
                    it's absolutely pathetic that--

                              PAT
                         (noticing)
                    Hey. What's on your computer?

                              EMILY
                    Oh, I'm looking at photos of Shaun
                    White's dick.

                              PAT
                    UGH, Emily!
                         (beat)
                    You said you were going to send me
                    those!

          The guys all agree with Pat and huddle around Emily's
          computer, just as interested in this.

                              EVERYONE
                    Is it big? / Are his pubes red? /
                    Is there any other famous
                    snowboarder?

          END