When news of Olivia Munn's hacked phone hits the office, it's too appalling to ignore. Like, at all.
By David Young
INT. LUNCH TABLE - DAY
STREETER and DAVID sit at the table, grubbin' and shit.
What don't you understand? I'm not
afraid of ghosts; I'm afraid of
PAT walks in, looking angry. He sits.
I can't believe it. You guys hear
about Olivia Munn's phone being
hacked? All of her personal photos
were leaked online, including some
really risqué stuff.
Ugh, are you serious? What's with
people these days? I mean, I get
that they're celebrities, but they
still deserve their privacy.
Streeter pulls out his phone. As he talks, he types.
Exactly! It's despicable. Like,
where's the line?
INSERT OF HIS PHONE: He types, "Olivia Munn Nude Photos."
Streeter continues without looking up from his phone.
Do celebrities not get the same
protection we get? They're not
animals in a zoo for god sakes.
Streeter turns his phone and head sideways. He's looking at
(softly, to himself)
Oh, that's nice.
I've been saying that for years!
David pulls out his IPAD. As he talks, we see what he types:
"Olivia Munn boobies pics."
And our society just promotes this
behavior. Someone needs to finally
stand up and say enough is enough!
With his two fingers, David enlarges an image on his IPad.
And continues to enlarge it.
It's just a slippery slope is all.
(quietly to himself)
Mmmmm, wow. I'd love to slip on
And the hackers are only getting
REVEAL: Pat has set up his entire DESKTOP COMPUTER on the
table. He intently looks at the screen.
You'd think these new phones would
slow them down, but nope.
Pat types: "Olivia Munn crotch shots." A list of links pop
up, and Pat opens all of them in different tabs like a pro.
Like what can celebrities do to
protect themselves from these
(beat, then softly)
That's a nice serpent socket.
JOSH approaches, even more worked up then the guys.
You guys talking about the Olivia
Munn phone hack?
He paces around the guys, stopping at each of their screens
and looking at the photos. He never misses a beat.
It's complete bull shit! (LOOKS AT
PHOTO, SOFTLY) Sweet fairy pillows.
I mean is nothing sacred!? (LOOKS
AT PHOTO, SOFTLY) Hot fish mitten.
In 5 years, I bet this is going to
happen every day! (LOOKS AT PHOTO,
SOFTLY) E-mail me that ASAP. I
couldn't find it without the stars
over her snow caps.
I just want to do something to
SAM, upset, approaches with a large stack of printed paper
And what can Olivia do? Pretty much
nothing, because then she's the bad
guy! It's just all so backwards!
And forwards. And on her hands and
Sam lays the pieces of paper out on the table. He begins
taping them together.
I can't just stand by and watch our
society crumble. We should start
some type of petition.
Everyone mumbles in agreement, but no one looks up from
REVEAL Sam is taping together a large printout of one of the
Olivia Munn photos.
Emily's at her desk and throws off her headphones in a huff.
You're all a bunch of hypocrites!
You don't actually hate the photos;
you just don't want to admit loving
them. From my perspective, I think
it's absolutely pathetic that--
Hey. What's on your computer?
Oh, I'm looking at photos of Shaun
You said you were going to send me
The guys all agree with Pat and huddle around Emily's
computer, just as interested in this.
Is it big? / Are his pubes red? /
Is there any other famous