From CH Staff on
Rock band OK Go announces the world's most fun and least successful dating site.
By Patrick Cassels & Jenny Jaffe
INT. WHITE VOID QUICK SHOTS of nice couples dancing badly. DAMIAN, TIM, DAN, and ANDY, the members of OK Go, address CAMERA. L/3: "OK GO - POWER POP BAND/RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS." DAMIAN Hi, we're OK Go. We love making people smile with our fun music videos, but we wanted to truly bring happiness into people's lives, which is why we've started OK Go-pid, a dating website guaranteed to find that perfect match for you. TIM OK Go-pid utilizes the things that make our videos so special to help you find love. DAN Just fill out an OK Go-pid profile listing your likes, dislikes, and what you're looking for in a partner. CUT TO a GUY (still in white void) filling out a survey on a computer. CUT TO OK Go. Andy prints out the Guy's profile, crumples it up, and throws it... ANDY (V.O.) Then we print out your profile and use it to start one of our signature mechanical computational devices, which will pick your perfect. match. The piece of paper knocks over a domino, starting a chain of other dominos, that ends with a ball baring, that rolls along an ELABORATE MACHINE: wheels, cranes, etc. At the end of the machine, there is a line of balloons, and the machine pops one at random. Another crumpled profile falls out. Andy picks it up, unfolds it, and holds it next to the original profile. It's a match! OK Go nods approvingly. TIM (V.O.) Some people may call it totally random. We call it fate. CUT TO the Guy and his match, a cute GIRL looking happy. GUY I never thought I'd find true love. Then the ball baring launched the dart into Hailey's balloon. GIRL (all smiles) We have nothing in common, but it was really cool to watch! CUT TO OK Go. DAN There's someone out there for everyone! Sometimes all it takes to show the way is a dog trained to roll a cue ball into a bucket. QUICK SHOT of a bunch of cue balls on the floor. A dog comes over and rolls one into a bucket with his noes. Damian then takes the cue ball out of the bucket. It has the name "Kumiko" written on it. He shows it to the other guys. They do they exact same approving nod. CUT TO another couple: an OLD JAPANESE WOMAN (Kumiko) and a YOUNG BLACK GUY. YOUNG BLACK GUY Honestly, Kumiko's not who I would have chosen, but OK Go has millions of views on YouTube. KUMIKO OK Go wa nanndesuka? SUBTITLE: "What is OK Go?" CUT TO OK Go. ANDY Making sure our users are compatible is the most important thing to us. Which is why OK Go-pid uses your interests to find your perfect match. GUY 2 I told OK Go-pid that I was really into baseball. So they did this cool thing where they used this cannon they made to fire 2,000 baseballs into a pond, and Linda just happened to be doing her daily swim there. WIDE REVEALS LINDA, who has a black eye. LINDA I hate baseball and I was married already. But sometimes fate --- and OK Go -- has other plans. CUT TO another couple: GUY 3 and GUY 4. GUY 3 I'm not gay, and neither is Pete, but when that mouse ate the cheese in front of Pete's picture... well, I still wasn't gay. But... CUT TO another machine. It releases a mouse, that scurries to a piece of cheese under a picture of Pete/Guy 4. GUY 4 But who are we to argue with OK Go?! Remember that video where they're on treadmills?! They start (badly) humming "Here it Goes Again." CUT TO OK Go. DAMIAN OK Go-pid is designed to find your perfect match on the first try. DAN (beat) It has to be. we are not setting it up twice. The band nods in agreement again. CUT TO another couple: a NERDY GUY and a HOT GIRL. NERDY GUY IT WORKED GREAT! NO COMPLAINTS! The Hot Girl is about to speak but we CUT AWAY. MUSIC rises as we show three more quick couples dancing. A SUPER-TALL WOMAN and a VERY SHORT MAN. L/3: "ANGELA AND ROB, TOGETHER ONE YEAR." A large BUS DRIVER and an ESKIMO WOMAN: L/3: "BRETT AND AKNA, TOGETHER 3 YEARS." An OLD MAN and a CHAIR: L/3: "HERMAN AND CHAIR, TOGETHER 5 YEARS." OLD MAN (a winking whisper) I just don't want to be alone! CUT TO OK Go. TIM So visit OK Go-pid today and start your free trial membership. DAN Our videos got us laid. Now they'll get you laid, too! END.