Now available for the BBCSNES!
By Caldwell Tanner & Susanna Wolff
A TITLE CARD for a 16-bit RPG: DOCTOR WHO
Options appear. SONIC SCREWDRIVER pointer selects 'LOAD
TITLE CARD reads CHAPTER 5:PART 1 - A NEW DOCTOR, below it,
a TARDIS icon spins next to text that reads: LOADING...
The 10TH DOCTOR begins to glow. Cut to evolution screen.
TEXT BOX: WHAT? THE TENTH DOCTOR IS REGENERATING
10TH DOCTOR changes to 11TH in a pokémon-style evolution.
TEXT BOX: TENTH DOCTOR regenerated into ELEVENTH DOCTOR!
Pokémon-style menu appears. Pointer selects QUEST LOG.
(NOTE: Bold = selected) Options are: NEW COMPANION, COOL BOW
TIE, BETTER VILLAINS, INCREASINGLY COMPLEX STORY-ARCS.
Screen flashes to pkmn-style battle. YOUNG AMY appears.
TEXT BOX: A wild AMYPOND appears!
AMY: There's a crack in my wall!
YOUNG AMY slides over, CRACK slides in next to her.
TEXT BOX: DOCTOR used FISH STICKS AND CUSTARD!
TEXT BOX: COMPANION FOUND!...BUT SHE'S 9.
TEXT BOX: DOCTOR used TARDIS
TARDIS warps in and warps screen. AMY is now older.
TEXT BOX: AMY evolved into SEXY GINGER! COMPANION ACQUIRED!
Victory music plays, screen goes to black.
TITLE CARD reads CHAPTER 5:PART 2 - THE WEEPING ANGELS
INT. BYZANTIUM - FINAL FANTASY VI STYLE FIGHT SCENE
DOCTOR, AMY, RIVER, and SOLDIER vs. WEEPING ANGEL
All characters except SOLDIER select DON'T BLINK from the
battle command window. SOLDIER selects BLINK.
SOLDIER dissolves from existence.
cut to black, TITLE CARD reads CHAPTER 5:PART 3 - RORY
DOCTOR approaches RORY
DOCTOR: Rory! I need you to come with me!
Three options appear with a sonic screwdriver pointer.
DOCTOR: Your girlfriend is in love with me / I made out with
your girlfriend / AMY IS IN DANGER, JUST GET IN MY
TEXT BOX: RORY joins the party!
CRACK appears on wall behind them.
TEXT BOX: A WILD CRACK appeared! (Seriously? Again??)
TEXT BOX: CRACK uses SILENCE
RORY gets sucked into CRACK
TEXT BOX: RORY HAS BEEN ERASED FROM TIME.
TEXT BOX: RORY left the party. Also, existence.
Blackout, TITLE CARD reads CHAPTER 5:PART 4 - THE PANDORICA
INT. MUSEUM - PANDORICA EXHIBIT
RORY, wearing centurion gear, is standing next to PANDORICA,
Doctor warps in wearing fez and holding a mop.
DOCTOR: Rory! What are you doing here?
RORY: Doctor?? But You're supposed to be in the Pandorica!
DOCTOR: Well I was! But I'm destined to escape due to a
predefined time loop condition that can only be accessed
when time fields are collapsing due to extreme duress from
unstable non-linear temporal matrices.
Text begins scrolling too quickly. TEXT BOX appears over it.
TEXT BOX: Skip explanation and accept that that's just how
time works in this show?
Options include: YES / NO / ALLONS-Y!
AMY, RORY, DOCTOR, RIVER etc. all dance to Final Fantasy
victory music. 'TIME TRAVEL' appears in big glittering font
TEXT BOX: You escaped the Pandorica and rewrote time itself!
TEXT BOX: You gain SOMETHING OLD (x1), SOMETHING NEW (x1),
SOMETHING BORROWED (x1) and SOMETHING BLUE (x1)!
Blackout, TITLE CARD reads CHAPTER 6:PART 1 - SILENCE FALLS
EXT. LAKE SILENCIO - FFVI STYLE BATTLE SCENE
DOCTOR vs. THE IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT
From his battle options DOCTOR selects DO NOTHING, the
ASTRONAUT shoots him for -9999 damage. He dies.
TITLE CARD reads GAME OVER, options appear as follows:
GAME OVER: Retry / Quit / Bring Rory Back to Life / Just
assume Writers know what the hell they're doing and move on.
Doctor walks in from left, Silence walks in from right.
Amy: So wait, You're still alive, that alien's wearing a
suit, and I'm pregnant maybe? How is any of this happening?
Larger version of the 'TIME TRAVEL' text appears. Victory
TEXT BOX: The Doctor rejoined the party! Amy got (x1) baby.
Silence counter appears at bottom of screen, it is a hand
with sharpie notches drawn on it. one notch shows up.
Blackout, TITLE CARD reads CHAPTER 6:PART 2 - DEMON'S RUN
INT. DEMON'S RUN
SILENCE COUNTER is at 4 notches. Amy is holding a BABY.
EYEPATCH LADY rams her, it flies up and the Lady catches it.
AMY: My baby!
RIVER, RORY, AND DOCTOR run onto screen.
AMY: River, what do we do?
RIVER'S JOURNAL appears, opens. It reads "Choose a
QUESTIONS: Who are you? / What is The Silence? / Is Rory
River: I've secretly been your daughter this whole time!
AMY and RORY: WHAT?!?
'TIME TRAVEL' text flashes. Victory Music plays.
TEXT BOX: AMY AND RORY level up! They are now PARENTS!
Blackout, TITLE CARD reads CHAPTER 6:PART 3 - FINAL BATTLE
EXT. LAKE SILENCIO
DOCTOR vs. THE IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT
TEXT BOX: IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT uses REVEAL.
TEXT BOX: ASTRONAUT was secretly RIVER SONG!
ASTRONAUT's helmet is removed to reveal RIVER SONG's head.
TEXT BOX: DOCTOR used ESCAPE DEATH.
River shoots him. Nothing happens.
TEXT BOX: It worked! (Well of course it worked, have you
even been paying attention?)
River and Doctor kiss, suddenly a GIANT QUESTION MARK
TEXT BOX: FINAL BOSS: THE ULTIMATE QUESTION
TEXT BOX: DOCTOR WHO? DOCTOR WHO? DOCTOR WHOOOOOOOO?
A Box appears in middle of screen. It reads: WHAT WILL YOU
OPTIONS: ANSWER QUESTION / WAIT UNTIL NEXT SEASON / WRITE
FAN FICTION WHERE DOCTOR AND RORY KISS.
Pointer clicks down twice, hesitates, clicks to last option.