Sexy models caught in their natural environment: unnatural environments.
By Ben Joseph
NOTE: To be shot in a NATURALISTIC, DOCUMENTARY style.
A golden field of high grass. GREG, rustic and folksy in
camo, carries photo equipment into the field.
My name's Greg Treschuk, I'm a
freelance nature photographer.
This looks like a good spot.
On a DUCK CALL, Greg plays a few notes of Dave Matthew's
And I'm here to shoot the rare
Camera ZOOMS to a point in the field. Young, attractive
MODELS in AMERICAN EAGLE CLOTHES poke their heads up.
They run toward camera. Their movement is a silly mix of
MODEL POSING and SUDDEN DEER-LIKE MOVEMENTS.
Oh yeah, this is some great stuff.
INT. GREG'S STUDIO - TALKING HEAD INTERVIEW
Greg reviews some FINISHED AD CAMPAIGNS.
These are all my work. Models
aren't hard to find once you know
where to look. Old barns,
waterfalls, abandoned steel mills.
Greg follows an old FARMER who leads him into an old barn.
Tried taser, rat poison, shotgun,
nothing seems to scare 'em.
Inside the barn, four MODELS crawl over some piles of hay.
Wow, look at the ethnic ambiguity
here. Really prime specimens.
Greg snaps some shots. The models, spooked, contort
themselves over the hay bales. One hangs his arms on a
rafter and pouts.
Look how defined the "V" of that
one's pelvic bone is. He's
definitely the alpha.
QUICK SHOTS of Greg, in nature, shooting oblivious models
wearing the following:
Wool scarves with no shirts, snow
pants and sandals, wet-suits
bottoms and messenger bags... It's
like they're trying to mimic human
behavior, but just can't get it
Greg points to a model incongruously holding a SURFBOARD.
Look, that one's carrying a
surfboard. He has no idea what to
do with it.
(noticing something outside)
Ah, shoot, they're up on my Chevy
The farmer picks up his PITCHFORK.
They love vintage cars.
Camera follow farmer outside, where three models contort and
pose on the back of a VINTAGE CONVERTIBLE. The farmer scares
them off with his pitchfork.
Get on out of here, ya tight-abbed,
INT. GREG'S STUDIO
When I was younger, I went out
after American Apparel models-
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE
An ASIAN GIRL in a WEIRD SPANDEX THING snarls at Greg from a
-but that kind of work... It just
ain't safe after a while.
A PORTABLE FLASH held by a MALE ASSISTANT goes off. The
model, furious, leaps onto him and starts tearing him apart.
Four models splash each other flirtatiously while Greg takes
Their behavior, while it looks like
courtship, never actually ends in
Most of the males are gay.
CUT TO: Gary assembles an AIR RIFLE.
(as he builds it)
Every once in a while, they'll ask
me to dart one and send it back to
the store for display purposes.
Gary shoots a dart into the neck of a male model awkwardly
building a sand castle. It collapses.
INT. AMERICAN EAGLE STORE
The model, scared and confused, stands chained to a rack of
jeans. He freaks out as a TEEN GIRL admires his scarf.
Breaks my heart.
Gary shoots some models playing around an OLD TRACTOR. He
pauses, looking up from behind his camera.
Sometimes, behind the perpetual
vague disinterest, you think you
see a glimmer of human
One male model starts LICKING A TREE. Gary frowns.
Then you remember, no, they're
nothing but big, dumb, beautiful
Gary's exactly where we left him.
God, I want to f*#k them.