By Owen Parsons
INT. TV COMMERCIAL - DAY Clips from the Hunger Games movie play as NARRATOR speaks. NARRATOR You read the novels, you saw the movie, but you haven't truly experienced The Hunger Games until now... Copies of HUNGER GAMES: UNABRIDGED are shown on display. NARRATOR ...with the release of The Hunger Games: Unabridged. For the first time, read Suzanne Collins' bold dystopian vision, with over 200 new pages cut from the original release, including every reference to shitting in the woods. INT. BOOKSTORE LIVE READING AREA SUZANNE COLLINS reads to an audience. Subtitle: "SUZANNE COLLINS, Author of The Hunger Games" SUZANNE "How long have I been out here?" Katniss wondered. It felt like only hours since the bloodbath at the Cornucopia, but judging from the sizable dump she was taking behind this old elm tree, it must have been at least half a day. She grabbed another handful of leaves... and thought of Peeta. Audience listens intently. Some nod, and murmur "Peeta." NARRATOR Finally, the complete saga unfolds. INT. KIDS ROOM A MOTHER reads passages from the Hunger Games to her daughter. MOTHER Katniss hungrily eyed the Careers' supplies. They stacked them by the lake, all of them prized gifts: Food, drinking water, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, spades for digging small, discreet, eight-to-ten inch holes in the woods... for shitting in... NARRATOR Hunger Games Unabridged is also available in audiobook... INT. GYM A woman on a treadmill listens to the audiobook. AUDIOBOOK "Don't be scared," Katniss told the little girl from District 11. "I've got food, and fire, and there's enough light so when you shit you can see what you're doing." The little girl nodded. "I crapped earlier in the dark and it got everywhere." "Gross," Katniss responded, "we should be allies." INT. KITCHEN A man listens to the audiobook while preparing dinner. AUDIOBOOK Katniss could hear Cato's footsteps on the other side of her tree. Panicked, she crouched lower and thought back to her training. Did she have to bury this dump now or was it cool to just cover it in leaves? "Or maybe," she thought, "if I leave it here, Cato will slip in it and die." NARRATOR Delve deeper into the world of Katniss Everdeen and the timeless themes of her story. INT. STUDY GROUP A group of book club members sit on couches as book club leader HOLLY reads from the book. HOLLY Katniss woke in the dead of night to a rumbling in her belly, and a terrible thought: "What if the Capital sees me shitting, and they take it as an insult?" CLUB MEMBERS (quietly gasping/crying) Trapped... she's trapped / so brave. NARRATOR And catch even more deleted scenes in The Hunger Games: Special Edition DVD. FILM SCENE - KATNISS AND PEETA IN THE CAVE Katniss wakes up with a start. Peeta is watching over her. PEETA Easy there, Kat. KATNISS How long was I out for? PEETA Almost three days. You shit yourself like five times. I... watched over you. KATNISS Oh Peeta... thank you. Romantic music swells. She reaches up to caress Peeta's face. Peeta flinches away from her hand. PEETA Whoa, whoa. Don't touch my face. FILM SCENE - KATNISS IS ATTACKED BY CATO Cato has Katniss cornered against a tree trunk. He holds a sword to her throat. CATO End of the line, District 12. His stomach gurgles. CATO Ugh, those damn berries. Sorry, can we take a bathroom break? Just a quick bathroom truce? Is that cool? KATNISS Sure. CATO Gah, thank you. I just need like, five minutes. Oh god. He runs off behind some bushes. We hear him dropping trou and sighing with relief. Katniss takes an arrow out of her quiver and fires it after him. CATO AGH, NO FAIR! QUIT IT! INT. TV COMMERCIAL - DAY More copies of HUNGER GAMES: UNABRIDGED appear, alongside the audiobook and the Special Edition DVD. NARRATOR Catch The Hunger Games: Unabridged, coming this summer from Scholastic books. And don't forget the new Hunger Games: Unabridged: The Graphic Novel. INT. KIDS ROOM A group of kids gather around a Hunger Games Unabridged graphic novel. They read intently. They turn a page, then all scream in disgust and throw the comic book down. END.