New YOLO Slang Words

By

Dan Gurewitch

          INT. WHITE VOID - ETERNAL NOTHINGNESS

          NOTE: As a general rule, when Dan says a nonsense YOLO word,
          it appears as L3 TEXT. When he explains the word's meaning,
          the letters being explained change color in real-time.

                              DAN
                    Hey, I'm Dan Gurewitch from inside
                    the Internet. Don't know if you've
                    heard, but there's a pretty hip new
                    slang word going around. It's
                    "YOLO," and it stands for "You Only
                    Live Once," as in:

          CUTAWAY: DAN SITS AT A BAR

                              DAN
                    Sure, I'll do another shot.  YOLO!

          Dan does a shot and immediately WINCES/COUGHS/DRIBBLES.

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    Well, I did some research, and YOLO
                    is just the tip of the iceberg. 
                    People are also saying "YOLOLO,"
                    for, "You only LOL once."

          CUTAWAY: DAN SITS WITH A FRIEND

                              FRIEND
                    HA!

                              DAN
                    YOLOLO!

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    Or, if you don't mean that in the
                    gay way:

          CUTAWAY: DAN SITS WITH THE SAME FRIEND

                              FRIEND
                    HA!

                              DAN
                    YOLOLO NOHOMO!

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    Another popular one is "YOWO
                    SOSOPOLOS," short for "You only
                    wear orange so-so polos."

          CUTAWAY: DAN STANDS WITH GUY IN ORANGE POLO SHIRT

                              DAN
                    You'll never win the fashion
                    competition.  YOWO SOSOSPOLOS.

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    And if you mean that in a gay
                    way:

          CUTAWAY: DAN STANDS WITH SAME GUY

                              DAN
                    YOWO
                    SOSOPOLOS SOHOMO.

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    Guys, these are 100% real, you
                    literally cannot make this stuff
                    up.  "YOYOKO ONOSOCO" means "You're
                    only Yoko Ono, so chill out."

          CUTAWAY: DAN COMFORTS A SAD-LOOKING YOKO ONO

                              DAN
                    You don't have to create world
                    peace by yourself.  YOYOKO ONOSOCO.

          L3 TITLE: (Must Only Be Spoken To Yoko Ono.)

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    There's even one for when you're
                    hanging out with Santa Claus and
                    you need to say, "You Only Ho-Ho-Ho
                    But Once, So Drink Our Cocoa."

          CUTAWAY: DAN SPEAKS TO SANTA CLAUS

                              DAN
                    YOHOHOHO BOSODOCOCOA!

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    I said that this morning.  There's
                    also "YOLOMOFO HELLOMOTO," which
                    means "You Only Live Once,
                    Motherfucker" and can only be
                    spoken by Samuel L. Jackson in a
                    Motorola commercial.

          CUTAWAY: SAMUEL L. JACKSON HOLDS UP A CELL PHONE, PISSED

                              SAMUEL L. JACKSON
                    YOLOMOFO HELLOMOTO!

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    Now we're into the advanced ones. 
                    Remember, people actually say
                    these, that's what's so cray-cray.

          CUTAWAY: DAN WITH A ROOMMATE WHO IS EATING FROZEN YOGURT

                              DAN
                    YOLO FROYO OTHO POLLODODO!

          FREEZE as Dan explains in V.O.:

                              DAN (V.O.)
                    That means "You're only living on
                    frozen yogurt!  On the other hand,
                    chicken is stupid."

          CUTAWAY: DAN ON THE STREET

                              DAN
                    YOGO SLOMO HOBO BLOWJO OSOGOTOTO!

          FREEZE. WIDEN TO REVEAL HOMELESS GUY KNEELING BEFORE DAN:

                              DAN (V.O.)
                    You only get offered slow-moving
                    homeless blow jobs once, so go to
                    town!

          CUTAWAY: DAN IN A ROOM OF MUSIC EQUIPMENT, TWO PALMS UP

                              DAN
                    YOCOCO ROCOCO BONO'S OBOES OBOZO
                    BONOBOS!

          FREEZE. WIDEN TO REVEAL DAN IS IN A ROOM WITH OBOES ON HIS
          LEFT AND BONOBO MONKEYS ON HIS RIGHT:

                              DAN (V.O.)
                    You can only choose one: late
                    Baroque period oboes from Bono's
                    personal collection, or crazy
                    monkeys.

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    And you've probably heard this last
                    one everywhere.

          CUTAWAY: DAN STANDS HOLDING A YO-YO.

                              DAN
                    YOYOYO OSOPHOTO YOYOYOSOLO OWO LOCO
                    PO-PO OPOGO-DROGO.

          FREEZE as Dan explains; INTERCUT PHOTOS OF THINGS MENTIONED:

                              DAN (V.O.)
                    You only yo-yo once, so photograph
                    yourself yo-yoing alone, obviously
                    without crazy police officers or
                    Khal Drogo on a pogo stick.

          WHITE VOID:

                              DAN
                    Wild, guys.  Just wild.
                         (sees something O.S.)
                    Whoa!  YOKO ONO HOBO BLOWJO!

          REVEAL: The homeless man going down on Yoko Ono.

          END.