Dan explores the "You Only Live Once" phenomenon and its variations.
By Dan Gurewitch
INT. WHITE VOID - ETERNAL NOTHINGNESS
NOTE: As a general rule, when Dan says a nonsense YOLO word,
it appears as L3 TEXT. When he explains the word's meaning,
the letters being explained change color in real-time.
Hey, I'm Dan Gurewitch from inside
the Internet. Don't know if you've
heard, but there's a pretty hip new
slang word going around. It's
"YOLO," and it stands for "You Only
Live Once," as in:
CUTAWAY: DAN SITS AT A BAR
Sure, I'll do another shot. YOLO!
Dan does a shot and immediately WINCES/COUGHS/DRIBBLES.
Well, I did some research, and YOLO
is just the tip of the iceberg.
People are also saying "YOLOLO,"
for, "You only LOL once."
CUTAWAY: DAN SITS WITH A FRIEND
Or, if you don't mean that in the
CUTAWAY: DAN SITS WITH THE SAME FRIEND
Another popular one is "YOWO
SOSOPOLOS," short for "You only
wear orange so-so polos."
CUTAWAY: DAN STANDS WITH GUY IN ORANGE POLO SHIRT
You'll never win the fashion
competition. YOWO SOSOSPOLOS.
And if you mean that in a gay
CUTAWAY: DAN STANDS WITH SAME GUY
Guys, these are 100% real, you
literally cannot make this stuff
up. "YOYOKO ONOSOCO" means "You're
only Yoko Ono, so chill out."
CUTAWAY: DAN COMFORTS A SAD-LOOKING YOKO ONO
You don't have to create world
peace by yourself. YOYOKO ONOSOCO.
L3 TITLE: (Must Only Be Spoken To Yoko Ono.)
There's even one for when you're
hanging out with Santa Claus and
you need to say, "You Only Ho-Ho-Ho
But Once, So Drink Our Cocoa."
CUTAWAY: DAN SPEAKS TO SANTA CLAUS
I said that this morning. There's
also "YOLOMOFO HELLOMOTO," which
means "You Only Live Once,
Motherfucker" and can only be
spoken by Samuel L. Jackson in a
CUTAWAY: SAMUEL L. JACKSON HOLDS UP A CELL PHONE, PISSED
SAMUEL L. JACKSON
Now we're into the advanced ones.
Remember, people actually say
these, that's what's so cray-cray.
CUTAWAY: DAN WITH A ROOMMATE WHO IS EATING FROZEN YOGURT
YOLO FROYO OTHO POLLODODO!
FREEZE as Dan explains in V.O.:
That means "You're only living on
frozen yogurt! On the other hand,
chicken is stupid."
CUTAWAY: DAN ON THE STREET
YOGO SLOMO HOBO BLOWJO OSOGOTOTO!
FREEZE. WIDEN TO REVEAL HOMELESS GUY KNEELING BEFORE DAN:
You only get offered slow-moving
homeless blow jobs once, so go to
CUTAWAY: DAN IN A ROOM OF MUSIC EQUIPMENT, TWO PALMS UP
YOCOCO ROCOCO BONO'S OBOES OBOZO
FREEZE. WIDEN TO REVEAL DAN IS IN A ROOM WITH OBOES ON HIS
LEFT AND BONOBO MONKEYS ON HIS RIGHT:
You can only choose one: late
Baroque period oboes from Bono's
personal collection, or crazy
And you've probably heard this last
CUTAWAY: DAN STANDS HOLDING A YO-YO.
YOYOYO OSOPHOTO YOYOYOSOLO OWO LOCO
FREEZE as Dan explains; INTERCUT PHOTOS OF THINGS MENTIONED:
You only yo-yo once, so photograph
yourself yo-yoing alone, obviously
without crazy police officers or
Khal Drogo on a pogo stick.
Wild, guys. Just wild.
(sees something O.S.)
Whoa! YOKO ONO HOBO BLOWJO!
REVEAL: The homeless man going down on Yoko Ono.