Call Me Maybe Parody

By

Owen Parsons

          INT. SUBURBAN HOME - DAY

          CARLY RAE JEPSEN looks out the window as a STEAMY HUNK in a
          white tee walks by outside. The opening notes play.

          EXT. SUBURBAN LAWN - CONTINUOUS

          Steamy Hunk pulls the throttle cable on a gas lawnmower.

          INT. SUBURBAN HOME - CONTINUOUS

          Carly Rae watches him hungrily.

                              CARLY
                    I threw a wish in the well/ don't
                    ask me I'll never tell/

          EXT. SUBURBAN LAWN - CONTINUOUS

          Steamy Hunk pushes mower as Carly watches from window.

                              CARLY
                    I looked to you as it fell/ and now
                    you're in my way/

          INT. SUBURBAN HOME - CONTINUOUS

          Focus on romantic novels lying on a table.

                              CARLY
                    I trade my soul for a wish/

          Carly clutches at her shirt in carnal desire.

                              CARLY
                    pennies and dimes for a kiss/ I
                    wasn't looking for this/

          EXT. SUBURBAN LAWN - CONTINUOUS

          Hunk starts to peel his shirt off his muscled torso.

                              CARLY
                    but now you're in my way/

          We get the tiniest, tiniest hint of a black pec tattoo
          before cutting back to

          INT. SUBURBAN HOME - CONTINUOUS

          Carly fans herself with a romance novel.

                              CARLY
                    Your stare was holdin'/

          EXT. SUBURBAN LAWN - CONTINUOUS

          Steamy Hunk finishes taking his shirt off, revealing...

                              CARLY
                    Ripped jeans, skin was...

          ...a giant swastika pec tattoo, American History X-style.

          Music fizzles out. Carly Rae stares, horrified.

          Steamy hunk catches her eye. He waves cheerily.

                              CARLY
                    Oh shit. Oh no.

          She hastily fumbles with the blinds, closing them.

          End.