By Owen Parsons
INT. SUBURBAN HOME - DAY CARLY RAE JEPSEN looks out the window as a STEAMY HUNK in a white tee walks by outside. The opening notes play. EXT. SUBURBAN LAWN - CONTINUOUS Steamy Hunk pulls the throttle cable on a gas lawnmower. INT. SUBURBAN HOME - CONTINUOUS Carly Rae watches him hungrily. CARLY I threw a wish in the well/ don't ask me I'll never tell/ EXT. SUBURBAN LAWN - CONTINUOUS Steamy Hunk pushes mower as Carly watches from window. CARLY I looked to you as it fell/ and now you're in my way/ INT. SUBURBAN HOME - CONTINUOUS Focus on romantic novels lying on a table. CARLY I trade my soul for a wish/ Carly clutches at her shirt in carnal desire. CARLY pennies and dimes for a kiss/ I wasn't looking for this/ EXT. SUBURBAN LAWN - CONTINUOUS Hunk starts to peel his shirt off his muscled torso. CARLY but now you're in my way/ We get the tiniest, tiniest hint of a black pec tattoo before cutting back to INT. SUBURBAN HOME - CONTINUOUS Carly fans herself with a romance novel. CARLY Your stare was holdin'/ EXT. SUBURBAN LAWN - CONTINUOUS Steamy Hunk finishes taking his shirt off, revealing... CARLY Ripped jeans, skin was... ...a giant swastika pec tattoo, American History X-style. Music fizzles out. Carly Rae stares, horrified. Steamy hunk catches her eye. He waves cheerily. CARLY Oh shit. Oh no. She hastily fumbles with the blinds, closing them. End.