Hardly Working: Hoops

By

Emily Axford & David Young

          INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM

          PAT is shooting hoops. Something's on his mind. DAVID
          enters.

                              DAVID
                    Hey, buddy. We missed you at the
                    writer's meeting this morning.

                              PAT
                         (distracted, a bit forlorn)
                    Oh.
                         (looks at watch)
                    Guess I lost track of time.

          Pat shoots the basketball. INSERT of the ball going through
          the hoop with a clean swish. The ball bounces back and David
          catches it. He bounce passes to Pat.

                              DAVID
                    Something on your mind?

          Pat sighs. Shoots again. INSERT: Flawless swish. 

                              PAT
                    If I'm being honest, yeah. Lately,
                    I've been feeling like I'll never live
                    up to my Dad's expectations.

          Pat shoots with poor form (limp arms). INSERT: swish.

                              PAT
                         (frustrated)
                    I mean the guy's the freakin' Chief
                    Lieutenant Commander of the U.S.S.
                    Liberty!

          Pat shoots with even worse form. INSERT: swish.

                              PAT
                    How can I compete with that?

          Pat shoots with even worse form.  INSERT: swish.

                              PAT
                    I'm an artist, not a fighter.

          Pat positions himself to shoot again, but David puts his
          hand on the ball to stop him.

                              DAVID
                    Hey. Give yourself a little credit.
                    If you were my son, I'd be real
                    proud of you.

          David takes the ball and shoots with terrible form.

                              PAT
                    You really mean that?

                              DAVID
                    Yeah, I do.

          They share a knowing smile for a beat. INSERT: swish.

                              PAT
                    What's your dad like?

          Pat catches the rebound and passes it to David.

                              DAVID
                    He's totally cool. 

          David passes the ball back to Pat. INSERT: swish.

                              DAVID
                    Nah I'm just kidding. We haven't
                    spoken in years.

          David shoots with shitty shitty form. INSERT: swish.

                              DAVID
                    The guy walked out on my mom. Guess
                    he wanted a daughter.

          David shoots in such a retarded way. INSERT: the ball
          balances on the rim. Will it or won't it go in?

                              DAVID
                    I started wearing dresses hoping
                    it'd bring him back.

          INSERT: swish.

                              DAVID
                    It didn't.

          INSERT: swish.

                              DAVID
                    But it upset my mom enough that she
                    walked out, too.

                              PAT
                    Wow, that's a real-

          Pat shoots so stupidly.

                              PAT
                    -lemon in your-

          INSERT: swish.

                              PAT
                    -apple orchard.

                              DAVID
                    Hmm, never thought about it that
                    way. But you know, if there's one
                    thing I've learned in life...

          David tries to make the basketball spin on his hand a couple
          times.  It doesn't work. INSERT: close up of the ball
          impeccably spinning on a finger.

                              DAVID
                         (obvious VO in VO booth)
                    You just gotta keep on spinning.

          INSERT: really quick swish.

          Pat is dribbling an obviously flat ball that is making the
          resonant sounds of a healthy air-filled ball.

                              PAT
                         (while bouncing)
                    So, guess I gotta be proud of who I
                    am, cause that's what matters most.

          Pat shoots a completely flat ball.  INSERT: swish of a
          completely flat ball. Emily enters.

                              EMILY
                    Hey guys. Couldn't help
                    over-eavesdropping.

          The following is rapid-fire cuts. All of Pat and David's
          lines are dry and monotone.

                              EMILY
                    I think everyone-

          Emily shoots. INSERT: swish. Cut to:

                              DAVID
                    Nice shot.

                              EMILY
                    -has problems-

          Emily shoots. INSERT: swish. Cut to:

                              PAT
                    Good one.

                              EMILY
                    -with their parents-

          Emily shoots. INSERT: swish. Cut to:

                              DAVID
                    Mazel Tov.

                              EMILY
                    -but its how we overcome-

          Emily shoots. INSERT: swish. Cut to:

                              PAT
                    Perfect form.

                              EMILY
                    -it that makes us-

          Emily shoots. INSERT: A BIG BLACK MAN DUNKIN'.

                              EMILY
                         (landing, post-dunk)
                    -who we are.  And who you are is an
                    amazing person.

                              PAT
                    Nice dunk, Emily!

                              BIG BLACK MAN
                         (with Emily's voice dubbed
                         over)
                    Thanks!

          END.