War never changes. Unless you download a patch.
By Adam Conover & Kevin Corrigan
MODERN WARFARE PLAYER SURPRISES HIS FAMILY
A mom, MARGARET, cooks dinner, while a daughter, TAYLOR,
sits doing her homework at a kitchen table. Margaret's son,
an unseen teenager named BRAD, holds the camera.
NOTE: All footage is shot by Brad. When necessary, there can
be a jump cut between scenelets.
Hey mom. Whattre ya doin'?
I miss daddy.
We all do.
We hear the sounds of movement and a doorknob rattling.
Mommy, what's that?
The camera whips over to a door nearby opens. The camera
finds BRIAN, an out of shape, slightly moist dude with a
pale complexion, possibly silhouetted. He's wearing a
headset, holding a controller, and wearing what looks like
fatigued-patterned sweat pajamas.
The camera pans back to Taylor, whose mouth opens in a big
Margaret drops a dish.
Oh my god. Oh my god!
Whoa! It's Dad!
Taylor gives Brian a huge running hug. A DOG runs up and
lick-tackles both of them like one of those dogs in the
soldier homecoming videos.
You're not due back until January!
Through the door behind him, we can see a decked-out GAMER
CAVE with Modern Warfare 3 on a huge flatscreen TV.
Yeah, well, the Internet went out.
So I'm back.
Daddy, you need a shower.
Ha ha! Yeah, well, I've been over
there a long time pumpkin.
Over ... there?
Brian points at the den.
Yeah. Over there. On the couch.
Well... come on, dinner's almost
ready. Sit down!
Brian and TAYLOR sit down.
Yeah, I could really use a home
cooked meal. I've been living on
rations for too long.
He points to the room. Brad pans and zooms over to a trash
pile of empty Big Mac boxes and 2-liter bottles of the soda
inside the gamer cave.
He pans back over to the table where everyone is now eating.
What was it like over there?
It was awful, sweetie. I saw
terrible things. I lost a lot of
buddies over there.
Whoa, one of your friends died?
Yeah, all of them, like fifty times
each. But then last week my buddy
Todd had his Live account banned.
He called his CO a fag. It was a
tragedy, he had this insane kill
streak going, he almost got the
Your father's a hero, honey.
Brian flips out.
(quiet and intense)
DON'T SAY THAT. There's nothing
glamorous about modern warfare. I
did a lot of things I wasn't proud
of over there. Once I got a
headshot on this n00b, and I dipped
my balls right in his face.
I teabagged him. He was just a boy.
Just about your age.
(almost a whisper)
Said he was from Cleveland.
(glancing at the camera)
Honey, calm down.
I can't! Look at me! I had the
highest KD in the whole clan! The
sergeant pinned an achievement on
He slaps his chest. The camera zooms in on a medal in the
shape of an XBox achievement pinned to it.
But what the fuck do I got to show
(banging the table with his
Where's my parade?
There's some commotion from the hallway. Brad whips the
camera to find another messy gamer, KEVIN, entering from the
Hey, Margie, I got some more Hot
He stops as he sees Brian. The camera pans back to Brian.
What's he doing here?
Margaret starts sobbing.
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I just
thought ... I thought you were
never coming back.
Brian cuts her off. He puts his hand on her shoulder. During
this, Brad gets distracted and takes the camera to peek
inside the gamer cave, so we hear the following from
Margaret. It's alright. I didn't
think I was coming back either.
That game's really good.
Brad pans back over.
Hey Dad ... does this mean I can
Sorry buddy. I gotta go back.
You're... going back? But I thought
you said that you were done! That
we were going to be a family again!
Sorry honey. My clan needs me.
He goes to the door and stands in it.
We have a hardcore death match at
He jumps over the back of the couch like it's a Humvee and
picks up the controller. The game starts up again. The
camera pans over to find Margaret crying. Brad pans back to
Brian in time to see him say:
Oh COME ON, a rocket launcher? How
fucking cheap are you?