He just figured out Blue's Clues, because he's infinitely smarter than us.
By Jenny Jaffe
INT. BLUE’S CLUES HOUSE - DAY
BLUE plays happily on the floor with a bouncy ball. STEVE
Oh hey there, Blue! Are you playing
with your bouncy ball?
Blue barks happily.
That sounds fun! I was just going
to read this book!
He pulls out a brightly colored book and sits down to read
it. He doesn't notice as Blue jumps on the ball and it
deflates. She makes a sad noise.
Uh-oh! Blue looks sad. Let's play
Blue's Clues to find out what we
can do to make Blue happy!
Blue jumps forward as though to put the "Blue's Clues" paw
print on the screen, and instead, writes "GET SHERLOCK".
Huh? Well, you know what happens
now! We look for three clues, and--
The door flies open. SHERLOCK HOLMES enters. He immediately
takes off his coat and gloves and tosses them aside.
A title card comes up: It is basically the opening from
"Sherlock", but made out of construction paper and it says
"Blue's Clues" instead.
Sherlock starts scanning the room. Facts about things in the
room appear as he looks at them: "Mentally unstable", "made
of paper", "blue dog- possibly diseased".
His eyes land on the deflated ball. There is a paw print on
(Without looking up)
He goes over to the deflated ball, crouches down, and looks
Steve pulls out his notebook and a crayon.
We are looking for Blue's Clues, we
are looking for--
Incredible, you're a worse singer
than you are detective. Deflated
ball, nylon-plastic blend,
manufactured in China-- no,
Indonesia-- it's off-white so it
gets dirty easily but this was
But what can we do to make Blue
happy? We've got a ball...
He looks confused and starts to draw in his notebook.
Sherlock grabs the crayon and uses it to prod the ball over.
It was popped deliberately but not
with much force. Someone wanted
this to look like an accident.
Look! Blue's gone into this
On the wall is a hand-drawn picture of a little girl using a
foot pump to blow up her bicycle tire. Blue is next to her.
What do we do?
Blue skidoo, we can, too.
They both "skidoo" into the painting.
INT. PICTURE - DAY
Up close, there is a blue paw print on the bike pump.
Of course there's a clue, there's
always a bloody clue. Shut them up.
Sherlock wheels on the camera.
Don't say another word, you
Sounds of the Offscreen Kids CRYING.
He pulls out his phone. The words "Search: Nearby bike
shops" appear over his phone.
You own a bike but this isn't a
bike friendly neighborhood. You're
from out of town. Where?
Well I come from a painting--
In Indonesia. You brought the ball
for Blue as a gift. You need her to
come back with you. But you've been
biting your nails, you know she
never will. We're done here.
INT. BLUE'S CLUES HOUSE - DAY
Sherlock is already standing in the living room when Steve
comes out of the picture.
We still have to figure out what's
wrong with Blue! The clues right
now are a popped ball, a bike pump,
Your parents died of a heroin
overdose when you were a child. You
blame yourself, and, to be fair, if
I were them I would have needed
Something quietly breaks in Steve. He looks devastated.
As Sherlock says the following monologue, a black and white
sequence illustrating what he's saying plays out.
Blue's a failed government
experiment to create a genetically
superior dog; she was sent to
Indonesia in an attempt to hide her
but she found her way back. She's
trying to cover up her past. But
she can't outrun it.
Back in the living room.
MR. SALT (O.S.)
Perhaps not. Or perhaps that's just
a story I wanted you to believe.
Either way it brought you here,
MR. SALT enters. Blue turns around to reveal that she's
strapped to a bomb like one of Moriarty's victims.
Sherlock and Mr. Salt look at each other like they know
they've reached a stalemate.
Steve pulls out his notebook.
But what was Blue trying to tell
Sherlock knocks the notebook out of Steve's hand.