Sherlock Blues Clues
By Jenny Jaffe
INT. BLUE’S CLUES HOUSE - DAY
BLUE plays happily on the floor with a bouncy ball. STEVE
enters.
STEVE
Oh hey there, Blue! Are you playing
with your bouncy ball?
Blue barks happily.
STEVE
That sounds fun! I was just going
to read this book!
He pulls out a brightly colored book and sits down to read
it. He doesn't notice as Blue jumps on the ball and it
deflates. She makes a sad noise.
STEVE
Uh-oh! Blue looks sad. Let's play
Blue's Clues to find out what we
can do to make Blue happy!
Blue jumps forward as though to put the "Blue's Clues" paw
print on the screen, and instead, writes "GET SHERLOCK".
STEVE
Huh? Well, you know what happens
now! We look for three clues, and--
The door flies open. SHERLOCK HOLMES enters. He immediately
takes off his coat and gloves and tosses them aside.
SHERLOCK
Step aside.
A title card comes up: It is basically the opening from
"Sherlock", but made out of construction paper and it says
"Blue's Clues" instead.
Sherlock starts scanning the room. Facts about things in the
room appear as he looks at them: "Mentally unstable", "made
of paper", "blue dog- possibly diseased".
His eyes land on the deflated ball. There is a paw print on
it.
OFFSCREEN KIDS
A clue!
SHERLOCK
(Without looking up)
Shut up.
He goes over to the deflated ball, crouches down, and looks
at it.
Steve pulls out his notebook and a crayon.
STEVE
(Singing)
We are looking for Blue's Clues, we
are looking for--
SHERLOCK
Incredible, you're a worse singer
than you are detective. Deflated
ball, nylon-plastic blend,
manufactured in China-- no,
Indonesia-- it's off-white so it
gets dirty easily but this was
brand new.
STEVE
But what can we do to make Blue
happy? We've got a ball...
He looks confused and starts to draw in his notebook.
Sherlock grabs the crayon and uses it to prod the ball over.
SHERLOCK
It was popped deliberately but not
with much force. Someone wanted
this to look like an accident.
STEVE (O.S.)
Look! Blue's gone into this
picture!
On the wall is a hand-drawn picture of a little girl using a
foot pump to blow up her bicycle tire. Blue is next to her.
STEVE
What do we do?
SHERLOCK
Blue skidoo, we can, too.
Obviously.
They both "skidoo" into the painting.
INT. PICTURE - DAY
Up close, there is a blue paw print on the bike pump.
OFFSCREEN KIDS
A clue!
SHERLOCK
Of course there's a clue, there's
always a bloody clue. Shut them up.
OFFSCREEN KIDS
Over there!
Sherlock wheels on the camera.
SHERLOCK
Don't say another word, you
insufferable imbeciles.
Sounds of the Offscreen Kids CRYING.
He pulls out his phone. The words "Search: Nearby bike
shops" appear over his phone.
SHERLOCK
You own a bike but this isn't a
bike friendly neighborhood. You're
from out of town. Where?
LITTLE GIRL
Well I come from a painting--
SHERLOCK
In Indonesia. You brought the ball
for Blue as a gift. You need her to
come back with you. But you've been
biting your nails, you know she
never will. We're done here.
INT. BLUE'S CLUES HOUSE - DAY
Sherlock is already standing in the living room when Steve
comes out of the picture.
STEVE
We still have to figure out what's
wrong with Blue! The clues right
now are a popped ball, a bike pump,
and--
SHERLOCK
Your parents died of a heroin
overdose when you were a child. You
blame yourself, and, to be fair, if
I were them I would have needed
drugs too.
Something quietly breaks in Steve. He looks devastated.
As Sherlock says the following monologue, a black and white
sequence illustrating what he's saying plays out.
SHERLOCK
Blue's a failed government
experiment to create a genetically
superior dog; she was sent to
Indonesia in an attempt to hide her
but she found her way back. She's
trying to cover up her past. But
she can't outrun it.
Back in the living room.
MR. SALT (O.S.)
Perhaps not. Or perhaps that's just
a story I wanted you to believe.
Either way it brought you here,
didn't it?
MR. SALT enters. Blue turns around to reveal that she's
strapped to a bomb like one of Moriarty's victims.
OFFSCREEN KIDS
(Crying)
BLUE!
MR. SALT
(Insane)
Shut UP!
Sherlock and Mr. Salt look at each other like they know
they've reached a stalemate.
Steve pulls out his notebook.
STEVE
But what was Blue trying to tell
us?
Sherlock knocks the notebook out of Steve's hand.
END.
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Script
Sherlock Blues Clues
INT. BLUE’S CLUES HOUSE - DAY BLUE plays happily on the floor with a bouncy ball. STEVE enters. STEVE Oh hey there, Blue! Are you playing with your bouncy ball? Blue barks happily. STEVE That sounds fun! I was just going to read this book! He pulls out a brightly colored book and sits down to read it. He doesn't notice as Blue jumps on the ball and it deflates. She makes a sad noise. STEVE Uh-oh! Blue looks sad. Let's play Blue's Clues to find out what we can do to make Blue happy! Blue jumps forward as though to put the "Blue's Clues" paw print on the screen, and instead, writes "GET SHERLOCK". STEVE Huh? Well, you know what happens now! We look for three clues, and-- The door flies open. SHERLOCK HOLMES enters. He immediately takes off his coat and gloves and tosses them aside. SHERLOCK Step aside. A title card comes up: It is basically the opening from "Sherlock", but made out of construction paper and it says "Blue's Clues" instead. Sherlock starts scanning the room. Facts about things in the room appear as he looks at them: "Mentally unstable", "made of paper", "blue dog- possibly diseased". His eyes land on the deflated ball. There is a paw print on it. OFFSCREEN KIDS A clue! SHERLOCK (Without looking up) Shut up. He goes over to the deflated ball, crouches down, and looks at it. Steve pulls out his notebook and a crayon. STEVE (Singing) We are looking for Blue's Clues, we are looking for-- SHERLOCK Incredible, you're a worse singer than you are detective. Deflated ball, nylon-plastic blend, manufactured in China-- no, Indonesia-- it's off-white so it gets dirty easily but this was brand new. STEVE But what can we do to make Blue happy? We've got a ball... He looks confused and starts to draw in his notebook. Sherlock grabs the crayon and uses it to prod the ball over. SHERLOCK It was popped deliberately but not with much force. Someone wanted this to look like an accident. STEVE (O.S.) Look! Blue's gone into this picture! On the wall is a hand-drawn picture of a little girl using a foot pump to blow up her bicycle tire. Blue is next to her. STEVE What do we do? SHERLOCK Blue skidoo, we can, too. Obviously. They both "skidoo" into the painting. INT. PICTURE - DAY Up close, there is a blue paw print on the bike pump. OFFSCREEN KIDS A clue! SHERLOCK Of course there's a clue, there's always a bloody clue. Shut them up. OFFSCREEN KIDS Over there! Sherlock wheels on the camera. SHERLOCK Don't say another word, you insufferable imbeciles. Sounds of the Offscreen Kids CRYING. He pulls out his phone. The words "Search: Nearby bike shops" appear over his phone. SHERLOCK You own a bike but this isn't a bike friendly neighborhood. You're from out of town. Where? LITTLE GIRL Well I come from a painting-- SHERLOCK In Indonesia. You brought the ball for Blue as a gift. You need her to come back with you. But you've been biting your nails, you know she never will. We're done here. INT. BLUE'S CLUES HOUSE - DAY Sherlock is already standing in the living room when Steve comes out of the picture. STEVE We still have to figure out what's wrong with Blue! The clues right now are a popped ball, a bike pump, and-- SHERLOCK Your parents died of a heroin overdose when you were a child. You blame yourself, and, to be fair, if I were them I would have needed drugs too. Something quietly breaks in Steve. He looks devastated. As Sherlock says the following monologue, a black and white sequence illustrating what he's saying plays out. SHERLOCK Blue's a failed government experiment to create a genetically superior dog; she was sent to Indonesia in an attempt to hide her but she found her way back. She's trying to cover up her past. But she can't outrun it. Back in the living room. MR. SALT (O.S.) Perhaps not. Or perhaps that's just a story I wanted you to believe. Either way it brought you here, didn't it? MR. SALT enters. Blue turns around to reveal that she's strapped to a bomb like one of Moriarty's victims. OFFSCREEN KIDS (Crying) BLUE! MR. SALT (Insane) Shut UP! Sherlock and Mr. Salt look at each other like they know they've reached a stalemate. Steve pulls out his notebook. STEVE But what was Blue trying to tell us? Sherlock knocks the notebook out of Steve's hand. END.Credits
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