Realistic Fighting Game

By

Owen Parsons

          ANIMATED VIDEOGAME MENU SCREEN

          TITLE SCREEN - "REAL FIGHTER II." 16-bit music plays. A
          cursor goes down to select "new game." Fade out/in to-

          CHARACTER MENU SCREEN - Cursor moves through a grid of
          characters, all of which look like toned-down, normal
          versions of Street Fighter characters. He selects the lame
          version of Ryu, "RYAN," a black-haired dude in a white
          button down. Fade out/in to-

          STAGE SELECT - Cursor flips past mundane stages - High
          School Hallway, Sporting Event, Side of the Highway. He
          selects "Bar." Fade out.

          INT. CROWDED BAR - NIGHT

          Ryan accidentally bumps a blonde dude in a red shirt, GREG
          (lame version of Ken). Greg spills his vodka red bull. They
          dramatically flip to opposite edges of the screen. The crowd
          parts to give them space.

                              GREG
                    HEY BRO! Don't make me overreact to
                    that MINOR ACCIDENT!

                              RYAN
                    I didn't catch what you said! But
                    I'm pretty sure it was an
                    UNFORGIVABLE INSULT!

                              ANNOUNCER
                    GET READY!

          Health bars fill above them.

                              ANNOUNCER
                    3! 2! 1! ...FRONT!

                              GREG
                    Do you know who you're dealing
                    with? Do you EVEN KNOW?

          Ryan reels back like he's been struck. His Health bar
          doesn't go down.

                              RYAN
                    Ooh! Tough guy! Come at me! See
                    what happens! Come at me!

          Greg reacts the same way.

          Ryan starts to take his shirt off.

                              ANNOUNCER
                    SHIRT REMOVAL! MULTIPLIER!

          Ryan hesitates, then pulls his shirt back down.

                              ANNOUNCER
                    RECONSIDERED!

          They start lamely fighting. During the fight, their health
          bar never goes down at all. Greg shoves Ryan repeatedly.
          Onscreen graphics declare it a three-hit combo.

                              ANNOUNCER
                    SHOVE! SHOVE! SHOVE! SHOVE COMBO!

          Ryan smacks Greg's hand, then grabs his midsection. They
          both tumble to the ground.

                              ANNOUNCER
                    SLAP COUNTER! REVERSAL! Take it to
                    the GROUND!

          They fumble clumsily on the ground.

                              RYAN
                    FUCK YOU!

                              GREG
                    FUCK YOU!

                              RYAN
                    FUCK YOU!

          People in the crowd start filming it with their iPhones.

          Greg triggers a MARVEL VS. CAPCOM - style assist! Crazy
          flashy graphics as a drunk PARTY GIRL wanders in.

                              ANNOUNCER
                    ASSIST COMBO! DRUNK GIRLFRIEND TAG
                    TEAM ACTIVATE!

          She slaps RYAN on the back with her handbag.

                              PARTY GIRL
                    STOP! STOP! STTOOOPPP IT! STOP!

          She stumbles off the opposite side of the screen.

          Greg kicks at Ryan. Ryan grabs his leg & awkwardly pulls it
          up into the air. Greg swings big wild punches over Ryan's
          head. They hop for a second, then both fall down again. Greg
          lands on hs hip with a crunch. He pulls out some glasses.

                              GREG
                    My glasses! You asshole!

                              ANNOUNCER
                    CRITICAL STRIKE!

          They struggle more. Sirens can be heard. A cop car is seen
          pulling up through a window in the background. Greg gets
          Ryan in a headlock.

                              GREG
                    Are you cool?

                              RYAN
                    I'll kill you!

                              GREG
                    Are you cool? Say you're cool and
                    I'll let go!

                              RYAN
                    I'm cool! Fine! I'm cool!

                              GREG
                    All right, good.

          Greg lets him out of the headlock & turns to go. Ryan pushes
          him angrily from behind. Greg stumbles and CRACKS his head
          against the bar. His health bar instantly depletes to zero
          and he falls the rest of the way in dramatic slow motion, a
          la Street Fighter. Ryan throws his arm up in triumph.

                              ANNOUNCER
                    K.O.! YOU WIN!

          COPS kick in the door to the bar. 16-bit music cuts.

                              COP
                    ON THE GROUND, NOW!

          They spray mace in Ryan's face. Crowd scatters.

          INT. JAIL CELL - NIGHT

          Ryan is in a holding cell, gearing up to fight a big TOUGH
          PRISONER. Their health bars fill up above them.

                              ANNOUNCER
                    LEVEL TWO. FIGHT!

          Tough prisoner beats the SHIT out of Ryan.

          End.