A GIRL stumbles into her room, a little inebriated. She takes a hat off in the mirror, a bit sloppily. She collapses onto bed and passes out.

VERSES
I’m not awake
I was in the Dark
Now I’m in a Park
With my cousin Mark
I’m not awake
And he’s fighting with Rambo-oh-oh-oh

I’m not awake
And my dad is here
But he is Richard Gere
And he’s a Cavalier (Richard Gere plays for the Cavaliers)
I’m not awake
He isn’t worried about that, vol-ca-no (A threatening volcano looms.)

PRE-CHORUS
Must’ve been the beer
Or the Chinese food
But this dream is weird
I’m totally nude
Now I’m at work
Work is on a stage
A stage in my high school
And I’m totally late

As she sings that, an office morphs into a stage in front of a bunch of people, then a high school classroom with an angry teacher, nude in each.

CHORUS
Falling from my gums (Her teeth fall from her gums)
Scared but I can’t run
So many metaphors
So many stairs and doors

VERSE
I'm not awake
And I can clearly see
My boyfriend cheat on me
With Mitt Romney
It’s just a dream
But I’ll still be pissed at him, to-mor-row

I’m not awake
My dead parakeet
Has come to me
To help me grieve
“Don’t be afraid”
(Parakeet mouths along)
He says to me in Spanish
(Parakeet quickly says “No tenga miedo!”)

PRE-CHORUS
Barely know this guy
But he’s in my dream
Looked at his profile
Before I went to sleep
We’re in a play
I forgot my lines
And the audience
Is a bunch of mimes

CHORUS
Falling from a roof
Pregnant with a boot
Back together with my ex
Please don’t wake up before we have sex

GIRL wakes up, startled. BOYFRIEND, also just woke up, leans in romantically.

BOYFRIEND
(affectionately)
Good morning.

GIRL
(shrugging him off, clearly upset)
You cheated on me in my dream last night.